Post deleted by mmaibohm

You mention that you are torn. This is normal for a WS. You're not sure which relationship would be better, so you vacillate between one and the other. Here's the quick answer: You can't have both. You absolutely, positively must cut the OW out of your life forever if you wish to do the right thing and repair your marriage. It won't be easy, as you have already noticed, but giving in has also not helped, as you should also have noticed. You mention that 'we had a false start' yet the reason was because you 'couldn't go without the OW.' So, in reality, YOU had a false start. Don't blame other people or circumstances for your own actions. Take responsibility.

Feeling guilty for doing bad things is GOOD. It means you have a soul and conscience. Don't try and make yourself feel better by trying to dissuade your guilt. Your actions affect other people and those actions are the only thing you can control (not your feelings). So do it.

Welcome to the wonderful world of quack counselors, where the mission is to make you feel wonderful about ending a marriage, as opposed to helping build, or rebuild a marriage.

You want to give the marriage a chance?

Call the Harley's. Find the number through the home page of this site, and call a seasoned counselor who will lead you through the proper steps to rebuild the marriage.

Your affair is a fantasy. It is a relationship built on lies and deceptions. There is nothing real or genuine about it. It is a castle of fantasy built on a foundation of sand. If you know anything about structures, you know in your head, and in your heart, it won't last.

Call the Harley's and get some REAL marriage coaching, and save your marriage to the REAL love of your life...your WIFE.

Best wishes,
SD

Your relationship with OW will NEVER last. It is doomed for failure. You can either repeat the cycle with OW that you had with your W, or you can break free of your destructive behavior and address your insecurity issues. You had better really try and save your marriage this time. You need to completely rid yourself of OW before you have any chance of that.

BTW, what quack of a counselor encourages a married person to continue their affair? I would find a new counselor that is a little more grounded.

The chances of you lasting with the OW are less than a quarter of a percent. But good luck. Maybe you two will defy the odds.

So now you are thinking.................? What?

Awwww....you guys, we didn't support his affair and he left. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

sheeesh, y'all are SOO "judgemental!"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Should have referred him to the OW site, I guess <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />