well looks like i just got myself a rather rude awakening.
Quick story
wife had 2 EA's and a PA last 2 years.
She totally misrepresented the first EA as beinbg the guy who was like the love of her life, she made him out to be a no big deal boyfriend from high school.
Well 6 months later we are at Dday and i find her going back and forth with him, never ended in PA supposedly but was definayl a heavy EA. Contact also continued after the Dday. He was the slick sales man, player user type and treated her like crap, and would periodically come back into her life.
Well we are in recovery over that and the PA and last night i find out this.
Another boyfriend from her past that she also knew from high school and had on again off again relations with had visited her back before we got married. She made him out to be nobody just an old friend who once got intimate .Well he comes back into state and moves to a town on the west coast and guess what she happens to have done a few months later. Taken a trip to this very same town with a gay guy from her hair salon. And the story has always been we just sat in the hotel room and did nothing..
this was 8-10 years ago before our marriage. Well i look and i see she has tons of contasct information for this guy and has obviously been keeping in contact with an old boyfriend behind my back. And it turns out she has knmown him since high school and had a thing for him for years and been on and off and had kept love letters. and he was the slick sales man player user type that treated her like crap.
*sigh*
So when our troubles supposedly began only 2-3 years ago she started contacting old boyfriends one after another, starting with this guy then another then the first EA.
She contacted maybe 4-6 old boyfriends.
So since our supposed day of ultimate truth i have found out that she has had inappropriate contact with old boyfriends.
But wait it gets better....
All along we have had a male friend that was an old boyfriend, the most well known dangersous relationpis parasite we know. He preys on women with relationship problems. Anyways, she was contacting him with my knowledge because we all know each other but i see alot more contact than i realized especially around the time she was heavily acting out for Ea's and PA's
I think my entire marriage has been a lie and a sham, how can i fix something she will not admit to. She has consistently misrepresented her actions all along, and her moral values. She has had trouble facing wrong in just about anything, now she is pissed because i am now thinking she did some thing much much earlier than 2 years ago, but in fact about 9 years ago in our 14 year relationship.
My ability to track her histories in email and phone records only goes back about 2 - 3 years so ireally have no idea what is up.
i was just thinking she was waking up on me, but she cant even see the string of attempted inapp[orpriate contacts mixed with misrepresntations of the real depth of the relationship to allow it. The same misrepresnting she did in all 2 ea's and the PA.
damn. i don't want to leave her i love her and she is the best thing that ever happened to me, bnut damn how much can a man take. She did one of the EAs and the PA away on trips just like the one she went on 9 years ago. I really don't know where i stand anymore, i feel like my whole life has been a lie and wiothout any basis in reality but for it being in my brain.
This woman is very traditional, Greek and fairly religious.
Sorry for the rant i am just freaking out and making love busters on her and trying to not do so and vent here.
Am i being irrational about this sudden new info from 9 years ago? How can we recover if we have a false past?
