How about new definitions then.

RBS - Recovered Betrayed Spouse.

BBS - Better Betrayed Spouse.

PBS - Pissed Betrayed Spouse.

FBS- Forgiving Betrayed Spouse.

Just a few but if you need or want a lable to say you were betrayed in the past there you go.

I think wants a BS though always a BS. It forever changes you as a person. It is part of who you are just another thing that has happened in our human experience. We learn, hurt, cry and grow from it and it is just part of our lives from that day forward. As far back in or memory or conscience it goes it is still there. Just like so many other life experiences we have had.

I like these Frog.

Can they be added to a resume under experience:

"I have earned a BS, BBS and a PBS. Currently working on my RBS with long range plans to achieve a FBS."

It's been more than 10 years since the A's, and my marriage has certainly recovered from the infidelity. My H and I have both personally recovered. Our lives, together and individually, are great.

But, we are both still BS's. IMO, it's kind of like being a war veteran....you either are or you aren't. Tho the negative effects of the experience may not have been permanent, the experience itself can't be undone.

I don't feel that I wear a badge saying "BS", but it is still part of my past.

Lori

Well I am in sales so my degree in BS is a little different but sure we can add them to our resume's.

It's something that I guess you will have to define for yourself as time goes by. Currently, I'd say you will not be able to shake the battered feeling. It's trauma, for sure. Some recover quicker, some recover much more slowly.

I don't go around telling people "hey, that Mrs. BS to you" I don't label myself outside of this forum. I do here, so people will know from which experience my thoughts spring.

I hold a BS in Microbiology, I am currently working on my PBS, hoping to not give a sh!te about what kind of BS I am in the future, because it will not be important to me anymore. I will be able to call my FWH, my HUSBAND, without thinking he didn't EARN that title. He just IS.

Won't it be great to just be H & W again? However I'm a PBS/CBS (confused BS) at the moment praying we get to H&W status scars and all and thankful we made it.

Hi BR,



Well I would have to agree as I feel the same way.
That does not take away any permanent consequences from the betrayal, that we all must live with in one way or another.

For example, I got a permanent STD from my W's betrayal. I would love to be able to call it a former STD, but it will never be so. I have it for the rest of my life.

It's sorta like trying to unring the bell that has been rung.

I don't walk around with the victim badge, because it will not serve the M I choose to remain in, in spite of her betrayal.

For the record, she is not the person she was then. Thus, there is always hope, and always a future free of this, if we both so choose.

BS is what I am, but i can choose to no longer let it define me, or most importantly, her. It's part of the patchwork quilt of our life. Still, that quilt keeps us warm in the winter. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

For the record, I am a close second to you, in that, I am 5 years, 3 mos. past DDay.

All blessings,
Jerry

I totally relate to what BR is saying. I changed my MB signature a long time ago in regognition of that fact.

I'm real close to my 2 year D-day.
I would say that I'm a SRBS (still recovering betrayed spouse).

My days no longer are consumed with thoughts and images. I no longer want to take my own life so I don't have to live with the hurt. But I am still hurt beyond words. And knowing that at this time 2 years ago my husband was with her still hurts me. It's been a long and difficult road and we have alot of work still ahead of us.

It is a long and difficult road..eh!

And when I take a peak back there-the pain and hurt is still there---there where it belongs...in the past

I like to consider myself as a survivor.

just like the plane/crash/train survivor

I lived to tell the tale

No badge of honour

can't beat my chest

don't feel the need too

Just know-there is life after adultery

And when you get the chance-EMBRACE IT

Max

How about BS becoming "betrayal survivor"??

You never become unbetrayed again.

I like Betrayal Survivor.

FTS

I vote for RBS (Recovered Betrayed Spouse).

Love all the options but I think for me the bottom line is that I am a BS for life and my H is a WS for life. We may end up in years with a happy contented marriage but he still strayed and I still recieved the most sever blow you can recieve. Time does not change what happened it just allows you to fill in some of the sadness with other options. I hope that one day I'll discover a technique to keep my mine off the the ****** I'm in and find some peace.

DTR