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Hello again folks.
I have a question that I would like to put to this forum.
My girlfriend wants me to go to dinner tomorrow night with her brother and his family. They are visiting from out of town.
Is it fair of her to expect me to pay?
Most likely it would be her brother and I splitting the tab.
I think it should be her brother and HER splitting the tab.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. one of Chris's recent posts...now Mel...how often do you think it is happening for this guy? Gotta say Chris, this ain't lookin' too good for ya buddy...When I began dating, my daddy taught me that if the guy didn't drive and pay that he didn't respect you...Chris, based on this thread, the post of yours that MEDC quoted and my late father's wisdom, I'd say it's time for you to take some "respecting women" classes or something...I'm not being sarcastic either...I just think it's time that you take a good look internally at your feelings towards women and do some adjusting...It really would help you in the longrun... Chris, if you don't mind my asking, what is your relationship like with your mom? Do you have sisters? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I can only speak for myself. I consider myself an attractive woman and I hate porn, not because of what the women look like, but how it appears that their needs are not being met - it looks fake, she looks like an object and the director is only interested in displaying porn to meet the needs of men. I have seen porn where the women actually look drugged and don't seem to know what is going on. Or they are so hot for a man's big penis that they don't have any other needs for anything but that. It is so incredibly corny and stupid. And please, the woman on woman stuff is ridiculous. Many good points made here. I agree with everything you've said. Thanks for sharing.
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Yes pretty women hate porn too (gee, that sounds like one of those Real Men commercials)
I personally "hate" the one behind it who seeks to devour, kill and destroy in any way possible.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Look, 25 percent of men over the age of thirty have low testosterone and low testosterone often causes erectile dysfunction and other more insidious problems in the bedroom. Tests prove that porn helps the brain produce more testosterone. Testosterone shots can damage the kidneys. I think these poor men with unpredictable erections should get a special dispensation where porn use is concerned. Kind of like the way it is with legalized marijuana to treat certain diseases. The good should outweigh the bad. Or as Hippocates said: "contraria contrariis curantur." Why, even a fertility doctor will hand a guy a girlie magazine if he's gonna have trouble getting a sperm sample. "abusus non tollit usum" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Be good sports and cut these poor wet-noodled dudes some slack! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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Gotta say Chris, this ain't lookin' too good for ya buddy...When I began dating, my daddy taught me that if the guy didn't drive and pay that he didn't respect you...Chris, based on this thread, the post of yours that MEDC quoted and my late father's wisdom, I'd say it's time for you to take some "respecting women" classes or something...I'm not being sarcastic either...I just think it's time that you take a good look internally at your feelings towards women and do some adjusting...It really would help you in the longrun...
Chris, if you don't mind my asking, what is your relationship like with your mom? Do you have sisters?
Mrs. W Funny you should ask. I have a great relationship with my mom. And I have a terrific sister as well. My mom is a retired doctor. She is a strong and independent woman. She and my father would alternate picking up the tab when we went out to dinner as a family. She is independent and considerate enough to pay her own way. She never needed a man financially. Maybe this is why I am often disappointed with women who always expect the man to pay.
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So........here I am. Divorced for 1 1/2 years and feeling very needy, alone, afraid, and without much self confidence in almost all areas of my life. I have been seeing someone for the past 6 months and that relationship is very up and down. It is mostly my fault because I live in constant fear that she is going to cheat on my or leave me altogether. The crazy part is that although either of these scenarios would hurt like ******, in the long run it would be a relief. I don't think that we are going to last as a couple, but I don't know how to end it because I am so needy and insecure and I crave validation Chris. I have to say after reading over some of your posts, I feel sorry for you and think I understand you a bit better. I will ask you this since your behavior seems somewhat erratic....you say you are 43 and had a marijuana problem for 29 years...are you again smoking? Religion is such a load of BS!!!
Don't put your faith in it.
It's an empty shell. It is the soul of soulless times. It is the opium of the people And what would you profess that people should put their faith in Chris? Pot? I mean take a long hard look at your life and ask yourself .."how's it working?" You have severe insecurity with women. You have an obvious disdain for religion. You have distorted views about love/beauty/trust/self esteem. You started two different threads regarding something as simple as who should pay for a date. Let me tell you..if you can't talk to your GF about that, you shouldn't be dating her. You got married because you were given an ultimatum. What is your real issue right now Chris and how do you think the people here at MB can help you?
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****edit*****
Last edited by Justuss; 09/21/07 03:23 PM.
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Tests prove that porn helps the brain produce more testosterone. Is it the porn or the arousal that produces the testosterone? So is it the source (the porn) that causes the arousal that produces the testosterone? So if a husband has a wife who is the source that causes the arousal that produces the testosterone, why does he need the porn?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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She is independent and considerate enough to pay her own way. She never needed a man financially. Maybe this is why I am often disappointed with women who always expect the man to pay. Chris, (I like you, and please don't think we are all ganging up here on you) This time around in my dating process I wised up a bit, started listening to the advice of wiser ones (kind of like what Mrs. W said her dad said), and let my now husband pay for everything while on a date. There is a lot of traveling involved in our M, and still he makes a production out of running out and fueling my car and such before I leave...(even though we are married and it's all "our" money now. He remarked that he was so used to women in the cities insisiting on paying their own way, and when I let him pay, he felt very manly. No kidding. And I am very considerate and independent. Now we are married and of course it doesn't really matter who pays, but he still always does, especially in public. Sometime I'll ask in advance "do you have enough, because I have some". When we were dating after several dates, I would say up front "do you have enough, it's kind of expensive and I can help" Or I would try to slip him a twenty or so in the car. It's fun to follow trational male and female roles, I think. "a man brings and a woman receives" it's kind of ingrained in our species. weaver now ducking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Tests prove that porn helps the brain produce more testosterone. Is it the porn or the arousal that produces the testosterone? So is it the source (the porn) that causes the arousal that produces the testosterone? So if a husband has a wife who is the source that causes the arousal that produces the testosterone, why does he need the porn? I guess it all depends on how wet the old noodle is. Could be more work than the poor woman is up for. Especially if he is in denial that something is organically wrong with him and blames it on the poor woman. How's THAT gonna put her in the mood???
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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Could be more work than the poor woman is up for. Especially if he is in denial that something is organically wrong with him and blames it on the poor woman. How's THAT gonna put her in the mood??? If all he is doing is looking at the porn, how could that be more work than the woman is up to? Why wouldn't looking at his wife do the same for him, or more? And if he blames his wife for his lack of arousal, then you got a man with a porn problem. Porn works, but his wife doesn't do it for him. I don't get it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
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So he has to look at the porn to fix his problem so he can have sex with his wife?
If he's in denial that something is organically wrong and blames it on the poor woman then he's got deeper issues than just a "wet noodle."
I think it boils down to pure and simple lust. Wanting to have sex with someone else or watch someone else have sex. Pure unadulterated (is that an oxymoron or what?) lust.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Princess,
Now your getting into a 'what-came-first, the-chicken-or-the egg' SIT.
Don't you feel sorry for that poor guy ***EDIT****? Where's your empathy? Where's your compassion? Doesn't your heart go out *****************EDIT*****************???
What you call lust and a bad habit, just started out as a condition that most red-blooded American men have a hard time admitting that they have. Poor things.
Last edited by Justuss; 10/01/07 02:00 PM.
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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Well then the medical field needs to come up with a medication for "the wet noodle syndrome"...Oh wait, I believe they have...It's called VIAGRA!!! Now, somebody go tell all the women in the porn industry that they can stop demoralizing and degrading themselves for the sake of "wet noodles" everywhere, because there is a CURE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Lust IS a condition that most red-blooded American men (and a lot of women) have. There's nothing wrong with lust (mental or physical) in and of itself. It's what they do with that lust that counts. My DH and I lust for each other all the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by princessmeggy; 09/21/07 04:10 PM.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Chris. I have to say after reading over some of your posts, I feel sorry for you and think I understand you a bit better. I will ask you this since your behavior seems somewhat erratic....you say you are 43 and had a marijuana problem for 29 years...are you again smoking? Religion is such a load of BS!!!
Don't put your faith in it.
It's an empty shell. It is the soul of soulless times. It is the opium of the people And what would you profess that people should put their faith in Chris? Pot? I mean take a long hard look at your life and ask yourself .."how's it working?" You have severe insecurity with women. You have an obvious disdain for religion. You have distorted views about love/beauty/trust/self esteem. You started two different threads regarding something as simple as who should pay for a date. Let me tell you..if you can't talk to your GF about that, you shouldn't be dating her. You got married because you were given an ultimatum. What is your real issue right now Chris and how do you think the people here at MB can help you? It's been a long time since I've encountered********************EDIT************
Last edited by Justuss; 09/21/07 05:02 PM.
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Lust IS a condition that most red-blooded American men (and a lot of women) have. There's nothing wrong with lust (mental or physical) in and of itself. It's what they do with that lust that counts. My DH and I lust for each other all the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I know what you mean Meg...Recently the sermon at our church was on lust-both inappropriate and appropriate...Mr. W and I couldn't wait to get home! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Appropriate lust is a beautiful thing! Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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It's been a long time since I've encountered *******edit*************** Chris...That is one of the most cruel posts I've seen on this board...Wow...How Sad... Mrs. W
Last edited by Justuss; 09/21/07 05:04 PM.
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