I just had the weirdest thing happen, and wanted to let you know ASAP. I just logged onto a secondary hotmail account that I rarely use for anything except ebay, paypal etc. I used to use it for communicating with friends, years ago until I switched to another email. It had been updated to the new Live Windows, and lo and behold, I suddenly have a contact list of people I haven't heard from in years. In fact two of them are deceased. Some of these people I used to email, some I have never emailed, but they sent a forward to me, and a couple of them were ladies I met at a conference, who were added to my messenger list about 5 years ago. I am sitting here looking at a big contact list of people I had deleted as contacts.These contactsd were NOT visible a week ago.
I first was very skeptical of your husband's story in one sense, yet wanted to give him the benefit of a doubt. I now see firsthand, that it is entirely possible he is telling you the truth, providing of course that OW was at one time on his messenger, OR he emailed her from that account, OR she emailed him.(obviously she didn't randomly appear)
It is also possible of course, that she got into his email and added herself. I work with a well-known person who had a stalker do that; it was a nightmare.
Question your husband about his history with this account and/or msn messenger. That may very well be where the answer lies.

Any updates?

Thank you for this post setfree...Armed with this new information, I went to Mr. W and requested that he sit with me while I went to my msn hotmail acct-I still have the account even though I don't use it often at all...only for paypal/ebay stuff really...During my affair though it had been used for communication with OM...His contact info was LONG ago deleted, and Mr. W knows that, but I wanted him right by my side as we went to check the contact list of the account...Anyway, we checked and OM's contact info was NOT there-THANK GOD...I then noticed that my account had not yet been updated to "Windows Live", so we decided to update it and see what happened...Again, thankfully OM did not show up as a contact, but interestingly, other previously deleted contacts did...That is really bizarre and something that I believe everyone around here ought to be aware of because that is SCARY stuff around these parts, for obvious reasons...

Anyway, again thanks for the heads-up regarding this, it's very much appreciated...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W