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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 156
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 156 |
How do you get rid of guilt? I am guilty that I had an EA/PA with my cousin's husband during the early part of my separation with my STBXH.
I have been separated for six years now. On the 5th year of separation, I found out that my STBXH is having an affair with our common friend for the past nine years with 2 OC already. STBXH begged for another chance. I was also considering a reconciliation that time. So, I decided to admit my own EA/PA. It was one year of trying to work on US, but to cut the long story short- it did not work out. He is now living with OW and OC for good- I will be filing for annulment soon.
On the other hand, three years after the EA/PA had ended, my cousin and husband divorced; without us admitting to the EA/PA up to now. I have spoken with my cousin twice since her divorced and seen her once just recently- but never had the courage to admit my sin and ask for her forgiveness. We never even talk about her divorce or anything personal.
How do you get rid of guilt? I am now 42 and leading a straight life and commit to the Lord that I will never, ever enter into bad R again. Just devoting my life to my pre-teen adopted daughter who felt abandoned by her father. I am not even sure if I have the courage to enter into another R even after my annulment is final. STBXH was my first and only BF prior to marriage. But I sometimes felt like because of what I've done- nobody will love me and accept me anymore. It's been five years now since the EA/PA has ended. I know I am forgiven by God... But, inside I still feel like a trash---
Thank you for listening...
God bless,
Someoneout_there
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 193
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 193 |
You have to learn to love yourself and to learn to forgive yourself.
Talk to your pastor about ways to help you.
God bless.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 156
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 156 |
Thank you, Xetta. Yes, I really need to learn to love myself and to forgive myself.
God bless,
someoneout_there
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 921
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 921 |
Someone,
It is obvious you learned from your mistake - correct? A lot of people do not learn from their mistakes and repeat them over and over. You know what you did was wrong so forgive yourself. You may need some counseling to do this.
Also, and I am not condoning what you did, but it was a bad time in your life and you made a really bad decision.
I think you need to write a heartfelt letter of an apology to your cousin. That may help both you and your cousin move on.
(I would give anything for a letter of apology from my X).
Keith
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