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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 123
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 123 |
I have been on a 2 1/2 year journey trying to recover from my H's year long A. I've decided that I can't do it, stay with him that is. So, I'm trying to get all of my ducks in a row so I can get the big D. Not happy about it, I wished it could have been different, but I know I cannot get over his A - too much pain, too much hurt - you all know what I'm trying to describe.
Anyway, I here with you all now and I hope you won't mind if I lean on your shoulders a bit as I'm just getting started with this whole thing.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 123
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 123 |
Here's a little background. I've been married 5 years, first year good, second year H had an A with a girl 20 years younger than him, it lasted a year, 3rd year we were separated due to me finding out about the A, we've been back in the same house for close to 2 years now and I simply cannot make myself continue in this marriage. To his credit, he's tried to re-build the trust etc. but with him continuing to overdraw the account and him telling me that he doesn't have sex with me because he doesn't need sex, it's too much. Please tell me I'm doing the right thing. In my heart I know that I am so why does it still hurt to do it? I don't want to hurt anymore
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
What r u 2 doing in regards to recovery support? Read SAA or HNHN?
L.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 123
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 123 |
Sorry, I'm not familiar with these acronyms. Update, I had dinner with two friends last night (yes, females, nothing inappropriate) however, I didn't tell my H about it because at this point I don't think it's necessary. He got a little annoyed and told me that I should have given him a heads up. I told him that I needed to move out - I'll continue making the household payments as I do now but I think it's best for me to move out. He practically begged me to stay. He knows that I want a D, what's going on? Any insight on this type of behaviour? I'm baffled.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Sorry, I'm not familiar with these acronyms. Update, I had dinner with two friends last night (yes, females, nothing inappropriate) however, I didn't tell my H about it because at this point I don't think it's necessary. He got a little annoyed and told me that I should have given him a heads up. I told him that I needed to move out - I'll continue making the household payments as I do now but I think it's best for me to move out. He practically begged me to stay. He knows that I want a D, what's going on? Any insight on this type of behaviour? I'm baffled. I recommend you move over to the GQII site. More traffic and more support for your current sitch. SAA - Surviving an Affair HNHN - His Needs/Her Needs Both are by Dr Harley and basic reading for those who want to learn and implement MB principles. Also it w/b wise to read the concepts section above and take the Emotional Needs Questionnaire. That way when you are ready to make a life changing decision you w/b prepared. JMHO, L.
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