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Vladie, exposure is working. You have them on the run. What you are seeing are last gasp efforts to save the sinking ship. There are no guarantees though, anything can happen so just be prepared.
Let your wife do ALL the hard work to split up your assets and cooperate with nothing. If she files some action against you, get an attorney and tell her to contact himl. Just let her know you arne't interested in all that legal stuff.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She just sent him an email to his work address saying she needs to talk to him and she can go to his work. I am waiting for his response
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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She must be driving him nuts!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Vladie - Melody is right. Slow down. Maybe it would be better to take a couple days break and not get too excited about your wife's newest email. We had one WS who was threatening to volunteer to go to Iraq after exposure. He never went though.
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I am trying to calm down! He hasn't responded as yet but who knows he may have called her. Hopefully he still wants out and she will eventually get the message. But if he doesn't I don't know what more I can do. Also its impossible to plan A her - she wants nothing to do with me!
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Quit reading her messages for awhile. I don't think the OM will contact her. He KNOWS you will call his wife, and most likely doesn't want to pay child support and lose his family.
But it is OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. The needier you appear to be, the less attractive. Force yourself to chill.
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So I saw WW earlier when droping our Son. She was in good mood we were even joking about our Son. She seems to have calmed down a bit. She seems to get really mad and lashes out when I get involved in her A. What a surprise!
OM still hasn't replied to her emails - unless he has called her. So for now I am not sure what to think? I will see if she sends him anymore.....
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Is my best be so to just play cool for a while.....what should I do if OM contacts her again?
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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I really don't think he will. And it will take her some time to get over her fantasy. Continue making a good life for yourself. Exercise and clean the toilets.
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But why would he send 1 reply last friday with a new email address and then nothing? I can't figure that out
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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I guess I missed his one reply with a new email address!
If he said he wouldn't contact her and gave a new email address, contact his wife.
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I am planning to but so far he has not responded to another 3 she has sent? All he said was hi. I am hoping for another from him before I talk to the wife. I don't want to give up my source over a HI.
Her last few emails show that shes desperate so maybe he is ignoring her?
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Okay. You are right. Just watch. I really feel like he will move on to someone whose husband doesn't give him so much trouble. We see it all the time here.
And he has a lot to lose. Imagine paying child support for all those kids.
When the affair ends, most folks go back to their partners.
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OM still hasn't replied. She sent an email to her cousin earlier just to 'test' if email address was working! She seemed in good form yesterday but today I got a text saying could I organise my solicitor today please. I spoke to a lawyer friend of mine and he said this is a no fault state so if you can settle things with her I would be much better off. Otherwise laywers end up with everything.
I have an appointment with a family law specialist on monday. So I will see what they say........
I was thinking of ringing her parents telling them how pathetic she is being sending emails to OM and trying to get her to go visit them for a while and maybe they could get her to work on marriage? I am fast running out of ideas as she really wants out and to move on
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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I spoke to a lawyer friend of mine and he said this is a no fault state so if you can settle things with her I would be much better off. Otherwise laywers end up with everything. right, because it is the goal of every lawyer to facilitate a quick, easy divorce. But your goal is to SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE, so you should not cooperate with anything. Make her work for everything and agree to nothing. IF she sues you for divorce, THEN get a lawyer, otherwise, talk is CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP with a WS. Don't even bother unless you are served with papers from a court.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel, he said that he loves when people come to him wanting to fight because he just sees all the money he will get. But I need to know where I stand so I am seeing a family law person on monday.
If OM really wants to be left alone do you think it may be an idea to get him as an ally. I could then say that OM wants you to stop contacting him and he told me you are emailing him constantly. I could tell her parents this and get them to talk to her. That way I don't have to admit to breaking into her email account. Whatya think?
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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No Mel, I am in brisbane. Vladie - send me an email to my address in my profile if you'd like to talk with me.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Mel, he said that he loves when people come to him wanting to fight because he just sees all the money he will get. Yet he advises people against that? Strange. Dr Harley loves it when people do not cooperate in a divorce, because they end up.............divorced when they do. Those that don't cooperate, usually stay married becuase the divorce takes longer than it takes for the affair to crumble. In your case, the affair is already on its death bed. Remember, the goal of an attorney is help you get DIVORCED, not to save your marriage. But I need to know where I stand so I am seeing a family law person on monday. Thats ok. just instruct him that you won't be cooperating with any divorce action and want him to help you drag out any potential divorce action. If OM really wants to be left alone do you think it may be an idea to get him as an ally. I could then say that OM wants you to stop contacting him and he told me you are emailing him constantly. noooooooooooooooo, she will catch on when the OM doesn't respond and will be hurt. When that happens, you want to be sitting there looknig like a place of refuge; not someone who colluded WITH her bf.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Try to stay busy doing something. I know it is hard not to be obsessing about your wife, but take a break from it.
Your wife will figure out on her own that she has made a HUGE mistake.
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