So automatic orders state while D is pending there's no cancelling of cc, checking accts, etc. He has cancelled me out of cc and is not threatening to close cking acct after 30 years of M. My atty keeps threatening we will get him on "contempt" but I see nothing happening. H will not disclose all discovery documents...making a real joke of this entire process.

My Atty states our settlement proposal is "the law" and so agrees H's atty, but H keeps battling the law.

Where is this going to end? What to do? Can he really get away with this?

For now, yes. In the long run, he will have to account for everything, and he will show documents in discovery, or face contempt.
For anything financial, there are documents you can get.
For now, he's trying to strangle you financially. This is normal. It upsets you. That's what he wants.

Hopefully you have the resources to get through this in the short term.
Once filed, you are protected financially.
Good luck. Many have been in the same place.

I spoke too soon. Starting to "squirm". Wants to "talk" without counsel. Emails flying back and forth. Trying to communicate with me. Guess what? ain't gonna happen! Stay tuned for more details.

My wife is doing the same thing and the judge is doing NOTHING about it.

So far she has liqiudated over $30,000 and has gotten away with it scott free.

She has lied on discovery and produced no documeted evidence to prove her statements, yet the judge allows her lies, while I have been required to come up with every scrap of paperwork to prove everything.

I have asked for a recusal of the judge and we'll see how that goes next week.

Pariah, do you have an atty and if so, what is he/she doing about it?

My first XH did this and I felt the same as you but in the end, the judge was so PO'd at the lack of respect he showed the court that I ended up with everything including full custody of DS and he could only visit by making an appt through childrens aid. Basically, give him enough rope and he will hang himself with it.

Pariah, I'm not sure exactly why your judge is not acting, although I remember at the beginning of my court case, the judge seemed to be leaning in XH's favour. Looking back I can see how the judge may have been biased against me since I had all the family support including money to pay for an expensive lawyer and he was kind of on his own. It probably did appear as though I was some sort of spoiled brat trying to fleece him, not the other way around. My fancy lawyer had nothing to do with the way things turned out - XH did that all on his own.

Tabby1, thanks for the advice. I'm gonna lay back and watch now. His promises to come up with the goods for discovery is still a waiting game.

It is nice to hear a happy ending to your story.

Just an update: since the two emails H sent to me to discuss a "reasonable" agreement, I have heard nothing more. Nor has other side come back with another redo of the agreement. It's just all really stupid. H was so quick to want this D and now we seem to be stalled. Guess he doesn't like all he's been told he's liable for. Promised to get discovery info to us as well, and still nada. Maybe he thinks everything is going to go "poof in the night".

My spouse is stalling at the moment to. He also wanted all child support to be based on 2006 taxes! That's because he made over 100000.00 this year alone. I don't know why they do this. I think divorce brings out a person true colors.

I don't care. I am going to sit here and wait. H is the one who wanted this...not me. Some OW turned his head and now he is starstruck. So, go ahead and see if I care anymore. I filed papers to protect myself. He wanted me to sign some paper he would draw up. I refused so I got me counsel. Wouldn't I have been a dope to listen to him. If he wants to be with OW so badly he's going to have to deal with the consequences. He's in big financial trouble. He needs to get over it and realize there's no way out. M 30 yrs.

Explosive discussion this weekend and he is threatening me up and down - trying to choke me financially. H is not giving up at all! WOW! He's stressed out and upset. I can see he is not listening to anything and will not face reality. Not sure where this is going to end up. Live in no fault state so if he brings this to trial, he's got no case. Sad sad man.

Well, today he told in email he's cut me out of everything and cancelling phone, cable, atm etc. Copied his atty too on the email. Unreal! My atty on vac this week. Nothing much I can do right now. What a jerk.

Realizing there is not one thing this guy has done to comply with the papers he was served. He lives in his own little fantasy world that "it's my money." He doesn't care and every time he does something against the papers he tells me "that's not the law. Your atty is just stringing you along." He's going to do this HIS way and not anyone else's. We are going to pre-trial mid Nov. and I would not want to be in his shoes for anything. Wondering if he will even show up!

He's using the standard tactics, most do.
It also sounds like he shunts authority, and I can tell you from experience that looks really bad in court.
However, my X was advised to avoid court because he looked so bad, and I represented myself and pointed out that his lawyer lied on his behalf. All the lawyer could say was "that's what my client told me judge". (PS, you could tell the judge didn't believe X's story or his lawyer).
So, the drama will continue.
I asked the lawyer how he could go into court lying, and he claimed that's all he was told. And this is an ethical lawyer.
Stay strong. I hope you have alot of support to make it through this rough period.

My wife has skirted every order thrown her way.

The judge is so angry he has ordered her not to come before him again and it better get resolved before 30 days are up.

She thought she was in the catbird seat at first when she threw the divorce at me, but she lied about everything and now is paying dearly for it.

Watching her fantasy world disintegrate is entertaining to say the least.

Well, we go to P-trial on 15th. Atty says it will be the only way for H to realize the deep doo doo he is in...cause he just does not get the picture right now. Continues to cut me off by not paying bills (he doesn't need certain stuff) and we have slammed him with 2 contempts and will follow thru with taking H to ct on it. Atty said we've been nice so far but we are gonna start turning up the heat soon.

Yes, Newly, he shunts authority and continues to do as he pleases. This weekend, off somewhere -- I am sure a little trist with the gf. No doubt. I found a text msg last week "I wish we were together tonight." Sickening. 30 years with this jerk and he's such a fool. Atty says it is only a matter of time.....

Tomorrow is the 15th! Not sure what to expect. Anyone been through one of these?

Ruling - for me! all for me! Atty said it was done in record time -- like 15 min. STBX made a mad dash out of there. Sends me an email that he hopes we don't have to go to trial. Please...let's go...he'll be in worse shape than he is now. What a loser.

needing_help,

Do you also need some quick cash?

Asking because during our 2 yr separation I took in foreign students who lived in our spare room. The agency paid me for this, and I had delightful young people at our dinner table, kids who my son still considers his friends.

Ask me if you think you are interested. I won't name the agency; suffice it to say that where there are colleges there are students who need housing with native English speakers. The agency sent me a check at the beginning of each student's stay.

Who knows how long your H will be fogged in. Some of the fools just keep hoisting themselves on their own petards.

Bellevue, thanks but I'm doing ok. My atty told his after the preT if he didn't go back to paying the bills, we'd be taking him to court. That finally woke him up in that regard, but he's still not dealing well with the judge's ruling re:alimony. Yup: fogged in = can't face reality. I truly just want him out of my life now so I can completely move on.