Hey all,
Not new here, just changed names to more accurately define my "new phase"...

I've not posted for awhile, mainly reading and learning more from so many hurt, patient, wise and determined souls. I too am entering a new phase full of more reality and calm - if not optimism.

The pain, anguish and loss of the first 2 yrs after D-Day are ebbing and being replaced by ...acceptance?? I found myself laughing today when reading a common WS "but he's my soul mate" plea. I never would have imagined a year or two ago of having anything other than an angry reaction...A step in the right direction, I'm thinking.

My WS is probably in the withdrawl phase of her A, but still moving forward with finding a place to move to by herself. It's unclear if it's due to momentum, or a real driving desire to be separated.

I've not done the best plan A - that's for certain, and have delayed resolution in either direction because of it. My WS is alternately withdrawn and then chatty. I'm both comfortable to talk to and the "enemy". It's so sad that they can't see we're safe, reliable and committed. Why else would we put up w/ this s#it??

My kids are wonderful, and are just not sure what to make of WS's "I'm just not in love with your Daddy anymore" speech. They don't want to judge mom, but just don't think she knows what she's doing...go figure...

I was wondering today, after laughing about some typical WS babble, if people could share some of the "gems" they've heard. My favorite is "I'm afraid that I'm missing my last chance at true love" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

L2F

Do your kids know WHY mommy doesn't love daddy anymore? How old are they?

BK, Yup...we've been through all that. I've recently exposed to everyone in a position to help. You might remember me as the guy a while back that you didn't give a "sunshine enema" to when I was dragging my feet on exposure.

WS's soulmate no longer "all that", but she's still in some form of withdrawl and not seeing clear. I'm still in Plan A and no longer pushing, just available.

Ran across this website...too funny. The cliche nature of the WS "script" is just ridiculous. http://womensinfidelity.com

Well, I am not laughing. I am crying that you have allowed this betrayal to go on for 2 years. I am crying because your kids apparently have not been told the truth and are at the mercy of the WW's lies and rationalizations. No one will protect them from her so I would suspect that moral confusion and insecurity ensues.

I am crying because because a lunatic is running the asylum. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

That is not funny to me, it is heartbreaking.

ML,
Lunatic is certainly roaming free, but is definitely not in charge...

As all of us here are aware, a BS can't control what a WS does. If so, there would be no affairs!! Does anyone "allow" their WS to cheat??? Free will's a bitc#.

Kids know the full truth and there is NO moral confusion there.

Laughing vs. Crying. ML, it's a proven fact that laughter is a very potent medicine, and after this long, "laughing in the face of death" is of significant comfort to me.

I've spent much of the last 2 yrs crying - I'm past it - I'm focused - I'm working on me - I'm being the best father I can. The "marriage" is going through a "rough patch"...but if you can't see the humor in the absolute ridiculousness and cliche nature of a WS's behavior and statements, you'll surely go mad <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />