When I told her that I was glad she was going to a support group, that I was concerned about her spirituality, she got really angry and said "Why, do you think I'm going to [email]h@ll[/email], too?" I just left a big awkward silence and said I had to go.
Lito - given what you posted previously about her twisting Scripture, does her angry question really surprise you?
Why don't you simply tell her that it doesn't matter what you think, it only matters what God thinks. Tell her plainly that there is no hope for the marriage if she is in rebellion against God. That is, unless you don't think obedience to God is important.
Understand that in order to do what she wants and to have an affair with someone, she MUST deny God and everything else, justifying it all by how she "feels."
You need to assume she is serious and continue to separate everything you can from her access and let her have the full consequences of her choices. If she accuses you of trying to "manipulate" her and "force her" to return, just tell her that you are implementing the changes that she has already told you she wants, since you believe that marriage is ONLY between a faithful husband and a faithful wife. Since she is choosing unfaithfulness and living alone, you are simply doing what is necessary to both protect the children and yourself AND to allow her to "be on her own."
Remember, the "objective" at this time is the destabilization and eventual ending of the affair. Recovery is not the goal right now. Once the affair is ended, then you will have to make a choice to attempt recovery or to divorce.
God bless.
