I'm asking this question after having read the recent thread on "guilt" about revealing to a bs, years later about an affair even though she divorced.

In my situation, the ow (a "friend") divorced her bs for om#2, 7 years ago, ending her 10 year marriage. I've been told recently that there is such strife over there, that her 15 year old daughter moved back in with dad this year and the youngest can't wait to do the same.

the problem is that I'm pretty sure the ex does not know that my husband was om#1 in 2 affairs: 14 years ago AND 10 years ago, while his wife was pregnant with daugher #2.

this was all confessed to me in jan 06. I felt there was no need to tell the ex since they had been divorced and I was afraid of opening wounds he might have healed. After reading the thread mentioned above, I'm beginning to question whether he has a right to know now after all these years. Do I tell this man that his wife has cheated throughtout his marriage or do I spare him the pain?
Please input welcome.

How is your R with your H? I recommend you read up on the SAA, HNHN & the concept section above, then call Steve H @ MB for some directional phone counseling.

The issues in your sitch is a bit different due to time and current circumstances.

JMHO,
L.

I take it then that the only A the BH was aware of was the one that ended his M? I agree with Orchid's recommendation, but my gut tells me that the BH has a right to know of the other As, if only to clear up any confusion he may have had about his W's behaviour during the previous years of their M.

BTW - is there any concern about who's the real father of the WW's second daughter, or did your H's second A start only after the OW was pregnant?

hsmom, he probably already knows, but if I were him I would want to know what you know. It would help him make sense of his life. Life with a serial cheater has to be a he11 of confusion because the marriage is based on deceit. If it were me, I would want to know.

I'm quite sure we've had this discussion before.

web page

Jerry

Shinethrough - I will read the link tonight. I skimmed the first page and it seems as if it refers to a bs still married. In this case, the husband and ow have been divorced since 2000. My husband was om#1 in 2 affairs with this woman years before. She married Om#2.

MIM - my husband and ow restarted the A when she was about 2 months pregnant so no concern - other than horror on my part.

I hated that a secret of this magnitude was kept from me for 14 years, so I personally would want to know. Crucial puzzle pieces have been withheld from this man's life that he can use to piece together and realize why their marriage failed. . .or he will curse forever the day that I had called. Can I live with that?

I just want to do the right thing - just don't know what that is.

Will need to think long and hard.

You are right, it could go either way. For me, if you called me today, 8 years after my divorce, I wouldn't be so much upset about it because the marriage ended as I would feel relieved. That information would make the puzzle pieces fit together for me and help me understand what led to my divorce. In fact, I SUSPECT my XH had more than 1 affair because there are gaps in the story. So, for me, I would be appreciative.