I am still trying to figure out what are my boundaries. I also need to know what to do if they are crossed. Some boundaries will be difficult to find out if they have been crossed. Here is one boundary that I am having a hard time with because I may not know if it has been crossed or not. That boundary is very important for me, in fact, it is my #1 EN. It is about openness and honesty.
I am searching for answers to these questions. How will I know if one has lied to me? How do I know if I don't dig, snoop around, ask questions in different ways or at different times? What are some of your consequenses if you have the same boundary as me?
Anyone?
Are you speaking of a specific person or in general?
My personal policy (subject to change on a whim) is if the person has done something to be distrusted, then I distrust until they've earned the trust back. We've all made mistakes, some worse than others and I pray for a way to earn someone's trust back if I've lied/ommited/done something wrong. So I try very hard to be as thoughtful back. However THEY do have to earn it. Giving unearned trust back is irresponsible IMO.
How do they earn trust, unfortunately they have to be verified (snooping or whatever you need to do). Listen closely, liers have a tendancy to say different things at differnent times to the same situation. Also time of proving their trustworthiness.
Consequenses are based on the situation. There are certain things I WILL NOT tolerate and if those lines are crossed severe consequences. I.E. WH friendly with another W not a friend of our M...out the door bud, I'm not living that again!
I hope my personal perspective helps.
