Hello! I'm new here. I am glad I was able to find this forum and maybe someone who are able to give me advises about my marriage. Before I share my difficulties, let me say a little bit about myself.
I am 28 years old and I have been marriied for 5 years but but living with my husband for 6 years. We have 2 children together. For 5 years that we've been married, it seems like he doesn't know me. It seems like he doesn't know what hurts me, bother me, or when I am hurting or going through hard times. There are many things we don't get along about. Little things or big things, we don't seem to just understand each other. Though I feel like I'm the one who is getting hard time and hurting the most. I've tried to sit down alone and think about things like how our problem started and who has a point. Most of the time when the problem comes between us, he is just not always interested in talking it out and solve it. He would just rather ignore the problem, ignore me, and forget about it. And time would come where he would just come to me and act like nothing happened. Sometimes I tell myself, maybe that's really his way of staying away from the fight and trouble. But my point of view is that you can't ever solve the problem if you don't talk about it. I think that it is so much better to sit down and talk about what is bothering both of us so that we can fix it and so that the problem does not happen again. I just can't ever get him to talk to me. Even if I come to him in a calm way. He always gets what he wants by not talking and getting away with it. What he does is he ignores me, walks away from me, and sometimes just leave the house for as long as he wants. Everytime he tells me to leave him alone, I do it. There were times were I didn't talk to him for 1 whole week just to give him what he wants and hoping that one day he would come to me and say "I'm ready to talk". But that never happens. I'm the one who always has to try to talk and fix it. But it irritates him that I want to talk. What should I do? Should I just give him what he wants and forget about how I feel?
I do everything myself at home and he doesn't. I take care of the kids alone. Even when I am sick, I would still have to get up and take care of things myself. Alot of times, I don't know how I should feel anymore. All mixed feelings. He is not willing to help. But I'm always there for him.
But anyways, the status of my marriage seems like going to a separation or divorce process. He already talked to one of our children saying that he and I are not gonna work out anymore and that he will just visit them.
What should I do? There's so much to say but it will take me how many days to express all the issues. There are so much different issues.
One last question.
Here's the situation.
My husband goes to work and then talks with a female for about 15 to 20 minutes per talk. Then my husband transfer to a different department, and so as the female. Then, the female calls my husband even when my husband and not working. When my husband and I went on vacation at a different state, the female called again. My husband didn't pick up the first time. Then the female called again. But the purpose of the call was not that important and it has nothing to do with work. But my husband doesn't have the guts to say, hey I'm on vacation right now, spending time with my wife, I would rather not get a call if it's not that important. And because I have a right to get jealous because of how often they talk at work, and he knows that I have a problem with her calling his cell even when he's home, he still talks to her and allows her to call him anytime he wants to. And he told me that he'll tell her that she can call him anytime she wants to. Because of what he said, I feel like they both disrespect me. The female disrespect me because she knows that he is married and she should think that she might cause trouble is she calls him anytime she wants to. My husband is also disrespecting me because he is allowing her to call him anytime she wants to and it does not matter whether it is affecting me and it does not matter how I feel about it.
That's all for now! Please help!
