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Re: Need help FAST *DELETED*
BHHFSGuy #1952742 10/17/07 02:41 PM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 177
Wisconsin
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LTKramer
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Re: Need help FAST
LTKramer #1952743 10/17/07 03:13 PM
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suamico Offline
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suamico
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"God Fearing Catholic"

I have to say, this phrase doesn't sit well with me. I am a Catholic and I go to church every Sunday and attend a WONDERFUL scripture study on wednesdays. My sexual relationship with my husband is a wonderful connection that is not something God looks down on. Have you gone back 5 years and really thought about what else was going on at the time? Did she attend church weekly then? I agree SOMETHING happened 5 years ago, but what? And why did it keep going on for all these years without figuring it out?

W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
Re: Need help FAST *DELETED*
suamico #1952744 10/17/07 03:25 PM
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Posts: 177
Wisconsin
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Re: Need help FAST
LTKramer #1952745 10/18/07 09:16 AM
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suamico Offline
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suamico
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Quote
She blamed me for everything and I wondered around for five years wondering what was wrong with me.

We recently were able to discuss it more where she gave me two excuses on two separate occasions. The first was that she lost respect for me. Second "She said that she was a slut in her twenties and felt as thought she was nothing more than ti-ts and p*ssy and was finally able to gain some self respect". That was alledgidly the reason for the change.



Ok, so the loss of respect may be because you were not meeting her emotional needs. Do you think that is the case?
I went through all your other posts to get a better idea of what is going on. First, I think it is a great idea to commute to work every day. How long were you living apart from your family? The answer to that may be part of the problem.

As for the sexual issues, either she is not sexually attracted to you anymore and is using that as an excuse or she has serious issues and needs to seek professional help. My gut is telling me she is not having an affair and needs you to be a friend right now. Now, that is JMO. Have you thought about what you are going to do when you get the test results? What is your game plan if it is possitive? What is your game plan if it is negative?

W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
Re: Need help FAST
LTKramer #1952746 10/18/07 09:20 AM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 658
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suamico Offline
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suamico
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LT,
On a side note, I noticed you are living in NEW. Where abouts? We lived in....see my user name for a year. It was beautiful but wasn't "home" We made some friends up there and had our next door neighbors come stay with us for 2 weeks this past spring. We still own the house up there (argh) it's been on the market for 14 months. Know anyone looking for a beautiful lakefront home? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
Re: Need help FAST
LTKramer #1952747 10/18/07 09:41 AM
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Posts: 658
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suamico Offline
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suamico
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Sorry LT,
When I re-read this post to me this part did strike me as odd. I don't know how I missed it. Why would she fear being alone with the OMW where there would be no distractions? I would think if there was an A and the OMW knew about it she wouldn't be having lunch with your W and her H. A possible answer is your wife just doesn't like her and dreads being alone with her trying to make small talk. I know my H has friends who are married to woman that drive me nuts! One of them wanted to get together and go to the beach for a few hours (just the 2 of us).I was dreading that and thank goodness she backed out. Another reason could be that she is having an EA or PA with OM and is guilt-ridden. I hope it is the first.

Quote
[Her] (Discussion about OMW and OM taking her to lunch) "I was so afraid that it was going to be me, OMW and the child and when he came out of the house (OM), "I thought, oh no, he is going to watch child while OMW and I go to lunch and then there will be no distractions".

Last edited by suamico; 10/18/07 09:51 AM.
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
Re: Need help FAST *DELETED*
suamico #1952748 10/19/07 09:40 AM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 177
Wisconsin
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LTKramer
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Re: Need help FAST
LTKramer #1952749 10/20/07 05:03 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
usa
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javas Offline
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javas
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Posts: 14
usa
Hey LTK,

Sorry I havent been in touch. I have been out of town on business for awhile.

I just got done reading all your posts. Im sure glad that your test came back negative. It looks like your heading in the right direction when it comes to infidelity issues.

One last thought,

As for the conversation, I would just tell her you over heard her talking to her GF, and you were upset about it, and ask her on why she feels that way?

I believe that your W has you wrapped around her finger. She is controlling you in every way. I would suggest to do what you stated in one of your posts. Do everything for you. Show her you can live or live without her. Do all the steps you mentioned 1-34? to bguy not to long ago.

Keep me posted. I wish you the best!!
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