My hubby and I have been together for six years.We have always shared a really hot sex life as well as a very close relationship.But off and on for about two years he has cybered with different women on the internet.He acts like he adores me and my sex life .He no longer cybers that I know of but I know he sometimes "flirts" on the net in hios hacking room.We have argued hundreds of times over this because I cant forgive him .It breaks my heart and makes me think there must be something wrong with me.He swears it isnt me but it breaks my heart.PLEASE someone help me before it breaks my marriage up.Sweetpea

Sweetpea25 - Porn, like an affair or like alcohol, is an addiction. I'm soory your hubby has been sucked into that junk. I can certainly understand your hurt feelings. Some guys will say this isn't a big deal an not to worry about it. However, if he's off by himself chatting or viewing this junk I think there's a problem. It's one thing to look at this stuff together, something else to sneak away on your own.<P>I agree with your H that it isn't you. And it isn't. IT'S HIM!!! I for one can't understand why he would continue if he knows it hurts you so much. i believe there are some other folks here who have dealt with this issue before and could probably help more than me. <P>I just wanted to emphasize that this problem of his relly is not about you.<P>SHA

You need to get online and find a "Faithful and True" wives group near you. Your H. is a sex addict, which is related to, but not the same, as the infidelity issues we chat about here. Do a search for Mark Laaser, Ph.D. online.<P>Hope it helps.<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P>

Sorry to hear this,i had the same problem except it was me doing it my wife is lovely and yet i got sucked up into porn etc,i did not take her feelings into consideration what so ever.But now that i have come to my senses i look back and see just what an idiot i was.the fault i can assure you does not lie with you but with your hubby,let him know how you feel and what effect it has on you.Try wowing him out of this behaviour

Hi Sweetpea,<BR>I have been married for 23 years and H had a 6 month cyber-affair. It ended on Mar 13, 1998 and our marriage has been on the edge of breakup ever since. The cyber affair is so hard to understand because no touch is ever exchanged but there is another person just the same. I could not understand how he could chose dialogue and avatars, etc......over me. Which he did. He chose to be with her and be her friend. So he could pretend to be something he wasn't I guess. But he did not care how I felt. Not for one second. And after it was over he didn't care much more. I don't think he was addicted I think it was fun. I was the old game and not as much fun. The only way I will ever get over this is if he spends every day for the rest of our lives making me feel loved and the most important person in his life, mind and world. I will settle for that or nothing. I know what you are suffering Sweetpea, stay strong, (hard not to cry huh?) I will be thinking of you. Bless you.<BR>Love, Karen<P>------------------<BR>alleyoop<BR>

Sweetpea--<P>I agree with the other posters--it's not you. Sounds like your H likes the ego boost flirting creates. He probably feels it's "safe" because it's online. Keep trying to explain to him how much it hurts you, without lovebusting if possible.<P>I do understand the feeling.<P>

Been there, done that. Sorry to hear you're going through it.<P>There's a board called "Cyberconnections" that you might want to look into...it's at <A HREF="http://boards2.ivillage.com/messages/get/rlcyber10.html" TARGET=_blank>http://boards2.ivillage.com/messages/get/rlcyber10.html</A>

Hi Sweetpea,<P>I agree with Liz, but there are many more resources for SAs and their partners on the web.<P>Have you found more resources about sex addiction? I have some here for you in case you have not...<P>Sex Addiction help page: <A HREF="http://www.sexaddictionhelp.com/index.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.sexaddictionhelp.com/index.html</A> <P>Heart to Heart Counseling Center: Doug Weiss' website: <A HREF="http://www.sexaddict.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.sexaddict.com/</A> <P>Sexual Addiction Recovery Resources: <A HREF="http://members.home.net:80/lillette/Recovery/" TARGET=_blank>http://members.home.net:80/lillette/Recovery/</A> <P>Christians in Recovery Sexual Addiction Recovery start page: <A HREF="http://www.christians-in-recovery.org/resources/start.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.christians-in-recovery.org/resources/start.html</A> <P>Christians in Recovery Sexual Addiction FAQ: <A HREF="http://www.christians-in-recovery.org/resources/faq/sexadd.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.christians-in-recovery.org/resources/faq/sexadd.html</A> <P>New Life Men's group at: <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/~newlifemn/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/~newlifemn/</A> <P>Resources for partners, etc.:<P>Coanon, support email group for partners and family of SAs: <A HREF="http://members.home.net:80/lillette/Recovery/Coanon/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://members.home.net:80/lillette/Recovery/Coanon/index.htm</A> <P>New Life Partners Christian woman's email group for wives of SAs: <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Park/7087/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Park/7087/</A> <P>SANON: S-Anon International Family Groups <A HREF="http://www.sanon.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.sanon.org/</A> <P>CODA: Codependents Anonymous: <A HREF="http://www.recovery.org/coda/coda.more.txt" TARGET=_blank>http://www.recovery.org/coda/coda.more.txt</A> <P>Codependency checklist: <A HREF="http://bbimaging.com/LifeEsteem/wellness/wellnessCDP_chklst.html" TARGET=_blank>http://bbimaging.com/LifeEsteem/wellness/wellnessCDP_chklst.html</A> <P>Resources for Codependency Recovery: <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2390/resource.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2390/resource.htm</A> <P>Codependency Chat Home Page: <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2390/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2390/</A> <P>Codeps Mailing List Information (a mailing list is for codependents recovering from relationships, past or present, with sexual addicts (SA's)): <A HREF="http://www.angelfire.com/fl/scubadvr/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.angelfire.com/fl/scubadvr/</A> <P>Hugz and prayers,<BR>Thoughtful (Deb)<BR>