My story is here
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3311416 .
My wife will have a 4-day break from this weekend to next Tuesday. I asked to visit her so she won't feel lonely during the break (my wife lives with only one roommate who will visit her husband during the break). This is the third time I ask her because I think it is worth trying again since we have been having better relationship recently. But she refused me again saying "I have said no many times". Then I ask her how she is going to spend her break, she said "rest and going to shopping malls". Then I asked "Can you find people who are willing to go to the same malls you want?" she said she has done this many times. Basically, she is refusing me to go to her place without any reason other than "because I said no".
I insisted and finally she said "If you insist to come, I cannot tie you up, but I am telling you no". She also said I promised her that I will visit her place only when she agrees (I had to promise her that so she would tell me her new address).
I strongly suspect the real reason is that she is inviting OM over to the house since her roommate will be gone (OM went to a university in another state this autumn, 9-hour drive away). This reasoning is supported by the fact that she said I can visit her any weekend after the break.
Now I think I have two choices.
1. Go visit her any way.
The good side of this is that I might force her to cancel her appointment with OM, if she IS really planning meeting him. This also shows that I really care about her. The bad side of this is that if she is NOT planning to meet OM (the chance is low, I think), she will say I don't trust her. And if she still invites OM over, I will confront him and everything will probably be over. Another possibility is that she might decide to fly over to OM place and leave me an empty house.
2. Stay and continue to work on my thesis.
The good side is this shows my trust on her if she is not planning to meet OM, and there is a good chance that I can still find it out if she invites OM over because they will probably go to church together (right now the church members there don't know that they are having A). The bad side is that I might lose a chance to prevent them from seeing each other in person. Or she might be testing me to see if I am a strong enough man to insist to the end or not (I strongly doubt this will be the case, though)
Please give your suggestions!
Thank you very much!!!
