Has any one really gotten over spouse cheating? I am trying really hard. I have gotten a new job running a company and she is giving me a hard time about spending time at work. She says that it is not the time I spend at work it is the time I spend with her, I dont pay enough attention to her. She asked me the other day what was wrong and I told her. I said I feel like when I come home at nite I have to do everything, cook, clean, put the kids to bed, wash clothes. She said she tended to the kids home work and brought the to after school activities, and she is tired. Then she got mad at me for saying that.

Now she is mad. I am sick of all of this bull--it. I shouldnt have to kiss someones butt all of the time so they will be happy. She chews me out all of the time and I get over it, but if I say one thing, look out.

Another thing is, when I try to get close to her and really try, I start thinking of the affair, which causes me to get mad and back off.

I have to go back to work now. Please respond.

Have you filled out the Emotional Needs surveys? You two would probably learn alot from doing so if you haven't.

As for getting over an affair, I personally cannot say that I have, but it has not been very long. There's numerous reports of successful recoveries from many people here that give me hope.

If you are just recovering from an affair and are not working on identifying and meeting each others needs I would say that you are not giving the marriage a very good chance to recover and are risking your marriage.

Lots of people have gotten over affairs, but no one gets over LOVEBUSTERS, thoughtlessness and a lack of caring. A good marriage depends on a committment to CARE for the other person, not on an attitude that selfishly demands: "what am I getting out of this deal??"

Can you get over an A?

Well, can you get over losing a limb?

The answer to both questions is yes - you just have to adjust to the new reality of your life, that's all.