Here is a shorter version of previous post:
18 yrs of what was a good M, but not perfect M and W agrees
Here is the history:
- Late last year I recieved a call from the OW informing me
- I blow up and for three weeks I interrogate/ck up on W
- Finally, my parents, her parents and she tell me I should move out for a while to cool down (10 months and still out)
- I start seeing counselor thinking I am the problem
- 2 weeks later she admits she has feelings for OM
- She says nothing going on, just emotional A
- I try plan A, but not perfect at it, I still do L busters
- In March, she hires a lawyer for a dissolution
- We are both Christians
- Went to 3 diff counselors but she says heart not in it
- WW says they only kiss, but she is in love
- WW admits to spending night w OM, but no sex (d/n believe)
- Says she no longer loves me
- WW says OM is not reason for D
-- wants D because she is afraid I will not forgive and repeat the things I did when I found out about A
- WW d/n consider it to be an A: says only friendship
-- I told her friends d/n kiss, are in love and spend nite
- I believe I was good H: faithful, I showed her I loved her everyday, no abuse of any kind
-- I just did not meet some E needs: time, gentleness
- Her parents say they w/n talk to her if takes me back
-- her parents have own problems of trust
- My parents have since apologized to me and support me
- 2 weeks ago we went to sign papers, but both got cold feet
- 2 days ago she signs but not me (mutual decision)
- Next day she wants me to sign and so do I
- WW says still afraid of failure and pain for our 3 children (23, 21, 15 yr old at home w her)
- This is my first M, her second M
- WW says OM is so gentle, never argue, lets her do anything
-- Found out OM history: had other A's, domestic violence, finance problems. WW verifies but protects him
- One day OM calls me and yells that I will not talk to my W after the D; then lies to my W and said I yelled at him
- I told her in a gentle way she is addicted
- She has said she has broken it off several times but she always comes back to him.
- Tried Plan B but only for a week or so, but now I think it is time to sign the paperwork and really stick to plan
- WW has built a house of cards with the lies
- Though did not end A, believes she made effort to save M
- Any suggestions other than stick to plan B and let the house of cards fall?