it will just make life easier instead of me and everyone else jumping between the 2!

i read something from someone today that has really inspired me... (it is on my raw food message board) she said how doing that way of eating has helped her regain her life. (she was overweight and a heavy drinker) the part that got me "regain my life" that is exactly what i need to do.

i don't do so well with matters of the heart. put me in a high pressure job situation and i can blow you out of the water. but relationships i don't do so well with.

i know i joined eharmony to fill the huge hole that has been left in me at the loss of gekko. i think my original intention was to replace him as soon as possible so i could forget him. (and that is strange because i didn't even try to do that after my marriage ended. BUT, i didn't really feel a big hole or loss after he left because he had been so gone already). i now understand that that is not what i need to do. i am seriously considering emailing eharmony and just having them close it now instead of waiting for the month to end. i have already closed all matches but one (and he does seem like he could be a generally nice guy so i will wait that one out a little longer) but my overall feeling is that i really don't want to be doing this online thing. what i want and need to be doing is "taking my life back". getting myself physically and emotionally healthy and healed from this break up before moving on with someone else.

i know one fear i have is finding someone else i would be so well matched with. gekko and i were very well matched in the areas of spirituality, of what we liked to do, and where we liked to go. i have never shared so much in common with someone before.

but really, i am inspired by the woman who spoke of regaining her life. i think maybe i should not be thinking of anything else but doing that right now.

mlhb

MLHB -
I read something in this month's "O" magazine - it's a story about finding love when you least expect it. A 65 year old actress said that in her 20's, 30's and 40's she jumped from relationship to relationship - thinking that a man would fill the voids in her life (I thought that too once) and she one day just stopped looking. She said that the best thing she did was to "learn to love her solitude". After she did that - everything else just fell into place.

I think that could work for all of us that are "looking" - once we learn to love our solitude, then we are truly ready to let someone in.

Keep your chin up girl - you will be OK.....

Laura

thank you truly...

and i guess i will just keep the 2 threads going as people seem to be writing on the ones they want to reply on anyway <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

mlhb