Thank you JKT. I will read through all of it and forward to my atty too.

My friends dragged me out tonight & took me to sushi. I hate sushi, but I ate teriyaki chicken. Tomorrow is envelope stuffing day. I've made my agent/manager lists and I'm printing everything tomorrow & then mailing on Monday.

I'm glad they took me out tonight. We didn't talk about WS at all. We just talked about our jobs or lack of jobs and hair and makeup. It was fun to talk girl talk again.

But WS is back home in AZ now. I wonder if I'll hear from him at all.

Still no word from WS. I don't know if I should send him another email or call him. I got no response from the last email I sent him. But boy oh boy I sure got a response when I called OW and left that message. I just wonder what is going on.

why do you need to talk to him? i can't remember...
if it is about taxes, just file "married filing separate"
send him a one line email letting him know that is what you are doing so that he knows he will have to file the same.

mlhb

I haven't read your entire thread LA, but what plan are you in? I think I remember reading earlier in your thread that you are in Los Angeles and your WH is in Arizona...if his A ended would the two of you continue living apart?

Robertswife: I'm not really in a plan a or b. Maybe a bit of plan b. I usually have a really bad panic/anxiety attack after I talk to him, so I've kinda stopped talking to him for awhile.

Mlhb: I know that's what I should do, but I think we will get a bigger refund if we file together and it gives me a chance to actually talk to him and keep me in his thoughts. Silly I know. But I take what I can get right now.

Had a friend email me that I haven't talked to in months and months. She had just heard what had happened to me. She was as shocked as everybody else was. Couldn't believe that he would do this to me. She gave me her 2 phone numbers and told me to call her at anytime if I have a panic attack. It made me feel good.

This was my day. It started out good. Had that movie director offer me a role in his movie. Things were good. Then I went to Petco.....

Stupid kids.

I'm at Petco in Woodland HIlls just a bit ago. Woodland Hills people keep that in mind. I'm walking out the door of Petco when all ****** breaks loose in the parking lot. Four huge *males of obvious hispanic descent* started trash talking to this skinny *male of obvious hispanic descent* and he just kinda blew them off. He was working at Petco for crying out loud. He had his lunch bag in his hand! As he walks away they come up behind him and jump him. He breaks free and starts to run and they catch him and jump him again. Pummeling him in the head. The kid drops in a heap on the parking lot pavement. He wasn't moving. Enraged Mommma of *obvious hispanic descent* starts screaming at them. Then enraged fiance to mommy also *obvious hispanic descent* starts to chase after the 4 thugs. It's a free for all in the parking lot. People running everywhere. I kinda ducked because I was waiting for gunfire. All the while this Petco kid is in a heap bleeding on the pavement. I grabbed my phone & keys, locked Libby & ran to help.

What a mess. This kid has part of his scalp ripped off, broken jaw, broken nose and huge gashes in his forehead. And he was combative and unresponsive to my questions and I'm up to my elbows in blood. Blood pouring out of this kids mouth, nose, head and he's fighting us, trying to get up. Momma is screaming & crying. He kept saying he couldn't breathe and I told him to start breathing out of his mouth. Slow breaths and even. I told him he had blood in his nose and that's why he couldn't breathe out of his nose. I leaned over to Momma and told her to stop ****** crying and get it together. I told her she was making him worse.

It took forever for the EMT's and police to get there. I held that kids head together for a good 15 min's before they arrived. I could feel his broken jaw squishing around in my hands. I had my middle finger and a towel stuffed into a huge gash on his forehead. I picked bloody clots out of this kids nose so he could breathe. There were people every where but nobody wanted to help. Just me and one other girl from Petco. They just stood there. I finally got eye contact with this kid and told him that he wasn't getting up and he was hurt bad. Then he kept asking over & over what had happened. Which is the sign of brain trauma. I only had 1 rubber glove on to cover my scraped knuckle but the rest of me got bloody. I told his Mom to keep talking to him calmly and he would calm down.

Finally the EMT's and police got there. I was so relieved. I could finally get up off the pavement and turn it over to the professionals.

I gave my card to fiance and angry Momma and told them to call me tonight to let me know how he was. Then I went into the Petco bathroom and scrubbed my arms and hands. Blood all over my clothes. My good pants too. I hope it comes out.

And when I get home, there is an email from WS. "Did you send the tax stuff yet?" That's it. No Hi or how are you...I was a little annoyed.

Yay, Sunshine!!!

You see how STRONG you are? You were in the right place at the right time for a reason.

I am so PROUD of you!! God is showing you how strong you are.

You were strong in that situation just as you will be in dealing with the crap your WS hurls your way.

(((((((((((((Sunshine)))))))))))))))))

Huggin' dat strong, beautiful lady!!!!

Oh Charlotte...it caught up with me around 8:00 pm. I just started to shake & my stomach was flip flopping. Delayed anxiety from it. And I feel like I have a fever. I'm so hot. I just wish they would call & tell me how he is.

Holy cow! That's scary. I can imagine how the adrenalin must have been rushing through you. It probably just wore off around 8 pm and that's why it caught up with you.

Can you call the police dept? Not 911, but the number for the dept that responded? You have a valid reason, you are a witness. You can let them know that and make sure they have your number if needed, and then ask which hospital he was taken to. Or if you have an idea which hospital, you could call them directly.

The family may have too much on their hands right now to remember to call you.

Good for you for responding. You hear of too many people turning away. Like Charlotte said, you showed incredible strength - and presence of mind, to know what to do.

The police have already called & interviewed me and I do know what hospital he's in. But I don't want to call & disturb them. I figured I'd wait tonight & then call in the morning.

This was just so surreal. Like I was watching a tv show in front of me.

They were just talking tonight on the LA news about the increase in gang violence these past few weeks.

You could perhaps just speak to a nurse, not disturb the family. Just in case you don't want to wait till morning.

The mom finally called me. The boy is in ICU and they have intubated him and are keeping him sedated. He keeps having seizures and they aren't sure why. Brain swelling? IDK...but the Mom said they were going to do an MRI since the CAT scan didn't show anything. His jaw isn't broken thankfully but his head wounds were very severe.

The mom put my name on the list as family and I'm going to go & visit tomorrow afternoon. I hope he's awake. I doubt he'll remember me, but it wouldl be nice to see him.

I sent WS an email about what happened and I didn't get a reply back. As usual. He's so fogged it's unreal.

forgive me for being blunt here LA, but your ex could care less about the kind things you are doing. i know you sent that email in hopes that it would change his heart and view of you and that he would suddenly see what a wonderful person you are and everything would be great. hey, i have been in your shoes before, so i know.

you are only hurting yourself when you contact him like that. he doesn't care. and then you are hurt when he doesn't respond. i am not bashing you, i understand why you did it.

unfortunately the choices that were made years ago for you 2 to live several states apart caused damage and that damage, in your exes eyes, may never be able to be repaired. i know you see that now. it does not excuse his affair in any way, but living several states apart did set up that possible scenerio. and i know you know that now too.

it is obvious that you see the innocent mistakes that have been made over the years, but the bottom line is, in your exes eyes, it just may be too little too late. if he is anything like my ex, he can hold a grudge for a long time and it sounds like he has been. i don't see his heart softening anytime soon.

keep seeing your therapist and looking out for YOU. stop emailing him period, you are only hurting yourself. get the taxes done, make sure you get everything you are legally entitled to in your divorce, and start preparing yourself to move on.

he knows where you are and how to contact you if he wants to talk or to work things out. in the mean time, make life happen for yourself. you are waiting on something that as each passing day goes by, especially each passing day that you are living several states apart, is probably not going to happen.

i am sorry if that sounds harsh, but i just hate to see you continually getting hurt. you don't deserve it.

mlhb

Yes, I know he doesn't care right now. But I will still hold onto a little hope that a change will happen.

I am trying to get on with my life and be positive. And I hope if it does come to a D that I won't get taken for a ride. And I know that sounds materialistic and bad, but he's always been there.

I talked to my atty and he said that WS has done nothing about the D so far. I dunno what he's up to. He has no $$ to hire a lawyer unless his family gave him money.

I was reading US Weekly and on pg 4 there was a story about how long to get over divorce? The actor Ryan Phillippe said that "There were a good four or five months of not being able to get out of bed." Nicole Kidman said it took "several months" to pull herself together when she & Tom Cruise broke up.

I tore that article and am putting it on my fridge. I know that even the celebs have meltdowns. Made me feel a bit better.

I start my acting classes up again. It just seems so right. I'm excited and in my element. I mailed out 19 agent submissions and one emailed me right away. She said she wants me to take a commercial class to get up to speed and then call her after the 3rd class & we'll talk.

And that director who cast me in his movie liked me so much on the phone that he said I don't even have to audition. And I get to sing in this movie. I'm excited. I would love to tell WS about all of this, but I don't think it would do any good. He would just be resentful of my success.

LA,
I have been reading your posts for quite sometime now and I just wanted to say "Hi". I am in OC and was actually thinking about you with all this great sunshine we are having.

I just began posting recently and I never knew what to say when you where having really bad days. You sound so much stronger and I am happy to hear that you have some promising job prospects. You know the saying "sucess is the best revenge" I'm not saying you want revenge, what I am saying is you go girl! Go out and take Hollywood by storm and enjoy every minute of it!
Victoria

Thank you Victoria38. I am alot stronger than I was. I reread some of my posts from Oct/Nov/Dec and I was really a mess. Just recently I've started to get my confidence back and strength in my heart to start pursuing my goals again.

Acting class went wonderfully tonight. I felt so strong. I did my scene and the instructor didn't have me make any adjustments. Which means I did good. I can't wait til Saturday for commercial class.