I have been thinking for quite some time how I am going to do Plan B, I have not been able to come up with a good solution to this so I would like to get some input.

I work from home, WW is a stay-at-home mom. I have been unable to work for quite some time with all that's going on, her constantly on the phone with OM (she doesn't even hide it anymore). If I don't do something soon, I will have real trouble with work. And what love for her that is left in me will be completely destroyed.

She has no skills, no car of her own, hasn't worked in 10 years. If she gets a job, saves money for a car, etc. it is going to take her a very long time to get out on her own. But if this situation continues much longer, things are going to get seriously bad.

I don't see how a successful Plan B can be done if we're both still here. That's not really a Plan B. So, should I help her get out? I'd probably wind up paying 1/2 of the rent and bills for her, and we're already in a bad financial situation. Should I see if her sister will let her live there? Pay her plane ticket to get her up there? I don't know if she will want to go, she'd be 1100 miles away from the kids.

I'm about ready to crack under this stress and I really need to be able to work.

Here is a radical idea.

Take away her cell phone! Her landline phone. and her email account. Cut off all forms of communication.

If she must talk to the low life pond scum sucker, she may have to either start writing letters or LEAVE THE HOUSE to communicate with him.

""her constantly on the phone with OM (she doesn't even hide it anymore).""

She is showing you ZERO respect, so she deserves none herself. And I take it Plan A has fizzled?

I see no other way out. And yes Plan B does not work if you both live in the same house....unless someone here knows how to do it.

Stay strong!

kirk

I would let her know that you can't live like this and need a seperation. Since she can't afford your place, she would need to figure out what she will do. She is a grown adult who can take care of herself. Perhaps she could get a job and find a nice room in a boarding house to support herself. You shouldn't pay for anything except maybe the first months rent on a cheap little room within walking distance of her job.

Just let her know this won't work and you won't be supporting her while she carries on her sleazy affair. Make it clear that this is HER PROBLEM to figure out, but she has to move. Ask her what she plans to do.

You call yourself a TEXAN and you put up with this??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> WHY??

Well, the 'not hiding it anymore' just started this morning. I was helping the kids put their shoes on when OM called her, she was making their lunches for school. Instead of telling him 'I'll call you back later', she just continued on a conversation with him.

I got really angry this afternoon, called the OM. What a jerk. He wouldn't even admit it was him - he said 'I share this apartment with some friends, it could be any one of them using this phone to call your wife'. BS. After I let him have it, hung up, not a minute later did he call WW. I left and went to a friend's house to use the computer and get a Plan B letter going. She has called my cell 5 times. I am not answering right now, I can't stand to take any more verbal abuse right now.

Good thing is that I called WW's sister and talked for a while, she has been really supportive. She said she talked to WW's mom, and mom was ready to buy a plane ticket and come out here and have some words face-to-face with her daughter.

Tex, you have to get her out FIRST before you give her the Plan B letter. Why not cancel her cell phone and tell her that she will have to get a room and a job? Ask her to move out, Tex. I am just SHOCKED she would have affair conversations in front of you. And that you put up with it.

Ah, I must do some more reading then. Thanks for bringing that important point to my attention. Out first, then Plan B letter.

And no, I am not putting up with it. The thing I have to figure out is how to keep her from contacting OM on the house phone. We have 4 little ones, 9,5,3 and 16months. I can't just leave them with NO phone at all when I go out for work assignments.

Talk with your service provider to see what options you can get on that land line. For example, selective call rejection will allow you to reject calls from certain numbers, like the OM's. There may also be a deny origination option, which will block anyone from making calls from the line (but it will continue to allow incoming calls).

You can also make it clear to your WW that if the calls to the OM continue, you will remove the land line and explain what that would mean for the security her herself and the children when you're not in the house.