This thread has been moved from Just Found Out to General Questions II for more responses.

JustUss

We seem to be doing better, since my last post and lastnight no mention of what happened. Not to say it's forgotten. I don't know if my wife has forgiven me and decided to move on but it does feel good to be "normal" again. But from my side I'll never forgive myself for what I did and I try to show her how much I love her everyday.
Plus I goto church during lunchtime most days to focus on my spriritualness and living out a good catholic life.
I still take each day one by one.
Lastnight she asked me if the OW had text'd me since these were the dates I told her I'd be in her town. I told her nothing. Each day, each week each month we get further from this and grow to solidify our love gives me hope.
I hope other peoples situations turn out similar....

Your thread brought me to tears as I have been in your wife's position. The pain is excrutiating for both of you. Only mine worse, my husband did have PA together with the EA which lasted a year. My H is very remorseful, he cried, I cried and did so for close to 3 years. It's along hard and I wish you the best!

biggest,

I wan tto clarify: Did you just close the email account with the other woman without telling her that you are married, and that you are ending all contact because you have done wrong and hurt your wife?

That is how Harley says affairs must end.

As you are turning to your faith for an anchor, does your pastor do marriage counseling? Do you think you and your wife might find a marriage encounter weekend through the church?

Lastly, the MB weekends would be a possibility and would bring you two closer together. You would be doing something as a team.

Yes

We'll see if that is needed, if it is we'll seek the appropriate ones. I do feel "reborn" again, I don't want to sound cheesy though.

"This morning was good despite her saying:

- you wanted to talk to that woman more than me
- I feel bad since we're currently trying to start a family
- All that chatting didn't mean a thing?
- Do you still love me?
- Why did you have this online affair?"

What did you answer to these questions from your wife?

And about this response to the suggestion you get mc form your pastor and/or attend a MB weekend: "We'll see if that is needed, if it is we'll seek the appropriate ones. I do feel "reborn" again, I don't want to sound cheesy though."

You don't sound cheesy to me... You sound like you're trying to avoid doing any more than absolutely needed to repair the immense damage you inflicted on your wife and marriage.

"Lastnight she asked me if the OW had text'd me since these were the dates I told her I'd be in her town. I told her nothing."

Are you saying that you told your wife nothing in response to her question? Or are you saying that you had not given the OW any info about what dates you would be in her town?

"Each day, each week each month we get further from this and grow to solidify our love gives me hope."

It's going to take a LOT more than mere time for your WIFE to get through this. What specifically does your wife need for you to say and do to help HER feel hope? Why would you need to be given hope? You need to be the one with the recovery plan and assuring your wife that you will do whatever it takes. Don't make the mistake of using words like you're 'trying' or 'hoping'... Your wife is listening and watching to see if you are serious and committed.

Hi, I haven't posted on here because well...I'm happy to say I didn't need to anymore...after some tough times my W forgave me and we've been working at this everyday. Everynow and then she tells me she still thinks about what happened and I apologize to her, but that's the extent of things.
For me I still haven't really forgiven myself, but I guess that's a work in progress. It'll almost be 3 months since the incident but it feels like it's been longer....getting a second chance feels great....I hope all our stories end good..

3 months and all is well huh? You either have a highly unique situation and an incredibly forgiving W, or you are fooling yourself BL.

****** edit ******

4 years later...

You really need to keep working the MB. I just know my W would take longer than 3 months. I hope you are right and all is well. Be a good man and keep an honest and open relationship. Good luck to you and keep your marriage first on the list!

4 years older .....

How have things been? Is your marriage a lot better, do you have kids now?

12+ years later we now have two beautiful kids (7 & 5 years old), the marriage has been solid, but I never forget what happened.....I've glad to say this story had a happy ending