The crazy x-friend who had a four month affair with my husband which ended last January called me and my husband the other day! What a whacked out loser. She's still in love with my husband and can't get over him. She kept going on saying he set her up and that she deserved an apology. Everything was all his fault. She claims no responsibility at all. The girl is still in the deepest fog ever. She said she is in financial ruins over this. Awwwwww. . . My husband said, "Well get a job then" She said that her kids are so whacked out. Her kids were way whacked out way before the affair. She told my husband she had been in rehab twice. Oh, did I mention she was drunk as a skunk when she called me at noon on Tuesday and again when she called my husband on Wednesday at 12:30 in the afternoon. She just can't lay off of that vodka. She had the nerve to tell us both that she doesn't drink anymore. What a joke.

I got to listen on the phone call when she called my husband. She had no idea. I had a hard time trying not to laugh with all of the things she was saying. She told my husband "we were supposed to be friends, how could you do that to me? Friends don't do that." My husband said, "What about what you did to my wife, you were supposed to be friends" That shut her up really fast. She told my husband that she apologized to me up and down and she was crying when she did that. NOT! She never once did. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie . . . . .

When she had a conversation with me she said that my husband used to say the most horrible things about me and she didn't tell me because it would hurt my feelings. I told my husband about that, so when he talked to the lush he said, "What are all these horrible things you say I said about my wife? I would never say anything bad about her." She said, "well you said she wasn't romantic." Okay, I was rolling on the floor in laughter at this point.

She also got mad at me when she called me yelling at me for not throwing my husband out. I told her that he was very remorseful, apologized to everyone in my family and my friends and asked for forgiveness. We decided to work things out and that our relationship was better than ever.

She kept saying to my husband, why didn't you tell me you wanted to end it. Instead you set me up. You left your cell phone out for your wife to see so she could find out and then never talked to me again. Awwwwwww. Whack job . . . . . She had called and I checked the number . . . . .duh! She said to him that she wanted the affair to last forever and still stay with her family. NUT!!!!!! My husband said, well sorry, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. We had no choice but to end it. It was out in the open. I love my wife and I'm very sorry of what I have done to her and everyone else. If you can't accept responsibility for your actions and you feel you need to blame me for everything then fine. You can say whatever you want if it makes you feel better. Then he went on to say, "So, do you have closure now, because I've got to go. And that was that . . . . .

I just know she will call again. Should I get a restraining order on her? It seems like she tries to contact every four months. Last time she came to my door. I guess this is when the affair was in full swing last year and she just can't get over it. I'm sick of the drunk crazy piece of garbage. What do you all suggest I do?

Normally I would contact her husband, but he doesn't seem to care anymore. She shows no remorse to him at all and just blames everything on my husband. I feel her husband is just an enabler, letting her drink all the time and not get a job. What's the point.

Recovery includes NC for life, for you and your FWH.

Regardless what you might believe about the OW's H, your H should contact him and expose the A to him. He may know less, and care more for his W than you think.

Lastly, get the RO. Be done with her. Nothing about her can bring good into your life, nor your H's. Think Nike...Just Do It!

SD

If it wasn't for the fact that she is married this sounds exactly like my H's OW. I did not file a restraining order even though i told her i did. She has not contacted him for a couple of months now so maybe she finally gets the picture. Just be careful. People who are alcoholics can do anything.

>She also got mad at me when she called me yelling at me for not throwing my husband out.

I was told by OW recently that her messed up life is MY fault because I didn't leave my husband.

(snort)

Yes. Get a restraining order.

And document every thing she says, every time she calls...everything.

The only way to get her to shut up is to constantly and consistantly shut her down (like last night, when the kooze tried to engage my dh during the drop off of the kids, he ended up telling her she is an uneducated trollop and he doesn't know why he bothers).

You're lucky she doesn't have any children from your h. Makes it a lot easier to shut them down.

- Kimmy

Her husband knows everything. We were all friends when this came out. Our families used to spend our time together just about every weekend.dining, playing music, watching football and what not. Him and I were in constant touch, helping each other heal. I turned him on to Marriage Builders, but it doesn't seem like he is following the plan as my husband and I did. He had filed for divorce, but that is on hold right now. They are still living together.

She also got upset with my husband for telling me all of the gory details and that her husband knows so much because I told him. How could my husband do that to her. She wasn't going to tell her husband anything.

Are you my soon to be ex-wife's OMW?

Now is about the time my wifey will be blaming OM for all her problems as she is now circling the financial commode.

Not according to your dates. Do you play guitar?

So your wife never accepted responsiblity for her actions either? I've always felt so very sorry for the the x-friends husband and so does my husband, for he truely feels bad for what he had done to him and would like to confront him face to face. But if her husband is anything like me, I just would like to whop her one.

Get the RO and change your phone numbers.

change your phone numbers..yes!

restraining order...I'm not sure you could get one based on what you have said so far.

send a certified NC letter that specifically states she is not to call or have any form of communication.

sounds like you H picked a real winner there. It also sounds like you guys need to be more selective as to your friends in the future since there were problems even before the affair.

Well, a NC was sent back in March and since then she seems to contact once every 4 months, or when she gets out of the rehab that never works.

I wish I could change the phone numbers, but my husband and I run our own business and that would hurt us.

Believe me, my husband already had the discussion about new friends. We don't need any, we have plenty of great old friends that stem back from our teenage years that would never betray us.

You all always make me feel much better. Thank you . . .

I think you should report every attempt at contact on her part to the OWH. I think your H should also refuse to take any more calls from her at this point.

Dr. harley suggest that extraordinary measures should be taken to avoid contact. This includes moving, changing careers, etc. I think changing a phone number...even if the short term impact on your business is difficult, is needed.
The reason i am suggesting the NC letter is that she has continued contact. Have a lawyer send her a letter to cease and desist communicating with your family. That will most likely do the trick.

Good luck.

Isn't their a way you can block a certain phone number from coming through? I have both her cell and home number. That would easily solve the problem.

As far as the attourney, GREAT IDEA!!!! We actually have a friend who is one (that she doesn't know of) and I never would have thought of that.

That would save some time and money . . . .

Or, using MEDC's theme of changing the number, use it at a marketing tool for your business, contacting ALL your past clients with a letter and a special of some kind.

"Due to the increased volume of business we have been forced to upgrade our telephone service to handle all your calls. Our new number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and we'd love it if you'd update your records. For the inconvenience this may cause, we'd like to offer you 10% off your next purchase over $100" (or whatever suits your business)

I would be simpler to block her numbers, but she can always change hers, call from public phones, or circumvent blockage with little effort. An e-mail to her H every time she makes contact would be in order, as well.

You can assign a different ring to her number on most cell phones, and just ignore those calls and delete her messages.

Whatever you do to avoid her efforts will cement your recovery efforts!!!

SD

Thank you all very much. All very good responses. I'm very thankful for finding MB back in February 07, shortly after affair ended. I swear it is what saved us. I always tell everyone about it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you . . .