WH and I have court scheduled in a couple of days, three to be more exact. He has come up with the craziest things against me, he is playing REALLY DIRTY to try and take our DS away from me. He has placed me as being an unfit mother and that I am harrasing OW. Even after he does this and I have the proof in front of me, he e-mails me pictures of our wedding date and tells me that he hopes I have not forgotten about our marriage. He has even started wearing his wedding band, something he stopped doing after his A began last year. I feel so stupid because after all he has done, I still have hopes of getting back together with this individual. I know that will never happen, but it has not left my mind. My family and friends ask what else he needs to do to so that I can forget about him. I still love this man, he is STILL my H and we have a 10-month old child together. Is his weird behavior a result of him still being under FOG or is it just plain simple, he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore? Any advise would be greatly accepted.

Cali,

Your WH is still deep in his fog until he begins to make steps to end the affair and recommit to you.

If he isn't ending contact and acting in a way that shows you that he wants your marriage to work (i.e. agreeing to marriage counseling, writing no contact letter, changing cell phone/e-mail addresses, and allowing you full access to any and all portions of his life that you choose), then he is in a fog.

I know the feeling of getting your hopes up when you see a little positive sign that something may be stirring in your WH's mind only to have him go back to the old WH again later. This just shows that he is not in the place where he needs to be to work on your marriage.

If you want to know "why" your WH is wearing his wedding ring now, reminding you about your wedding date and marriage, you should ask him. Express that you are a little confused over his behavior toward you since it seems that he has forgotten about his marriage by engaging in an affair.

It sounds to me as if your WH is trying to keep you on the side while he has his fun with the OW. It is a very cruel thing for him to do.

IMO, it isn't wise to look for any hidden signs that he is coming around, you will only be disappointed. If he were serious about working on your marriage, he would be willing to do whatever it takes to get you back and he would prove it through his actions.

Hope this helps.

Sara

I have big feelings that the A is still in full swing, I left the home about two months ago and I thougth things were going to change between them, but apparently not. We have court tomorrow and I believe he is going to lose a lot in court, including our child and our home.

Protect you and your DS for now. This is your priority. When he comes out of his fog, you can reconsider things then, if you want.

FTS

Had court yesterday.....and what happened? he didn't show up! instead he had his attorney represent him there...That really got me sad, he says he cares so much about our DS, why not go to court and fight for him? We got dates for mediation and our next court date. Today he e-mailed me and asked if i could join him to church! What is he thinking? why is he bringing God into this? that is nothing to be playing around with? He knows that I'm a religious person, but that is no reason to do those things! What is he going to come up with next?

Are you kidding me? Your WH invited you to go to church with him?

Wow. That's different.

I would go if I were you and hopefully the pastor will give a nice long sermon on evil of adultery and you two can have a pleasant chat about it afterward.

Has your WH always been this way or is his crazy behavior a new development?

My WH had never had this kind of behavior before, that was until his A began. I don't trust anything that he says or does anymore cause eventually I will see it later on in court, twisted around. He is just probably trying to show the courts that he wants to be a religious person. This morning that I went to drop off our DS, he tried to give me a kiss. Why does he even still try, doesn't he see that he has caused so much pain? Doesn't he see that everything is over and done with? When is he going to get that through his head? I bet WH's don't think clearly when in FOG, right?