after 18 years of marriage, my w has told me that she no longer loves me and wants to end the relationship. The last 10 years have been focused on the kids with little or no nuturing of our relationship mixed in. Plenty of LB's have been directed by both parties, but I still want to try and salvage it based on what I have seen at this site. I have snooped and discoved an ea by my wife with a married chiropractor. She says he is only a friend, and no physical affair has taken place as of yet. She is a stay at home mom and I believe her on the affair part at this juncture. She has indicated that she does not want to try counseling and did not seem to be impacted by the "Basic Concepts". She does not want to file D at this juncture based on our financial status and how it would impact the kids (14-16)
I probably made a bad move today when i threatend to confront the chiro and request that he have no further contact. She resonded with, "then I will retain an attorney" and hung up. We have since cooled a tad and are going to talk about how to proceed from here. I have run the gamit from wanting to win her back, deciding I was done with her, to wanting to be a team player and help her get on her feet financially before we split-which she says is ineveitble. Help, I'm sinkin...

You have a lot of work to do, my friend.

1. Snoop. You need more information to uncover the TRUE nature of the relationship. Install a keylogger on the home computer to find correspondence between them. Search through phone records and print them for safe keeping.

2. Stop the LBs. Implement Plan A. Read about the Carrot and the Stick (search for it on the boards)

3. Tell your wife you don't DO divorce.

4. Do not threaten to expose the affair or confront the affairees. You need more ammo before it would be effective anyway.

5. When you have the PROOF that you need, inform the Chiro's wife. Do NOT give advance warning of the exposure to the OMW...this will only serve to give him a chance to spin it in his favor.

Keep reading. Keep learning. Don't give up.