Here are my 2 previous threads... that died a slow death, but that's ok.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=1#Post3318532
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=1#Post3320624

Summary: WS left me after months of hiding that he had found out I had feelings for another man. The feelings for the other man faded on their own, because WS had become more attentive to our needs. 4 weeks before he announced he was leaving, he told me that he had found out about those feelings and had been very sad. He felt I had been dishonest with him, and didn't know if he could trust me again. However, told me at the time, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I was the love of his life. Two weeks later, he announces that he is leaving and a few days later he's found an apartment and moved out. I had no say in his decision. I have no idea WHAT exactly specifically made him leave at that point. Doesn't seem to be an affair, although I still have to prove it... talked to a PI last week and he advised waiting a period of 2 weeks after he had moved into his new apartment.

We have been to 2 marriage counselling sessions. The first one was disastrous. He was there for mediation, I was there for reconciliation. We had a fallout and the counselor said that "separation was imminent".

Second session went a bit better, but WS is still set on not coming back. First counseling session he said he was NEVER coming back. Second session, he said there was a slight chance.

I had a coaching session with Jennifer too. She told me to write him a letter, a sort of contract about how I commit to change, to the relationship, etc, etc... Then she said to move on to plan A, even though I haven't officially proved the A.

I have exposed some of his "behaviors" to the people closest to him (by behaviors, I mean impulsive spending since he's been gone, suicidal ideas, depressed mood) and no one is phased by what I say.

I've been more than pleasant with him. He is closed off to me fulfilling his ENs. I've eliminated the LBs. I don't see him coming around one bit.

Also, how are you supposed to fulfill someone's ENs when they aren't living under the same roof? and avoiding LB'S? how are you supposed to do that?

I've only been attempting plan A for 2 weeks, but it isn't working at all, except the slight openness I saw at the counselor last week.

Is it too soon to move on to plan B???

Hate to piggyback on my posts, but I had to add.

I saw him yesterday when he came to get the kids. He said I looked great and if he was sure that I wouldn't get emotionally involved, he would've jumped me in front of the kids.

I do have that on my side, I'm physically attractive, workout, eat well and maintain a healthy weight. I've always been careful about not dressing like a slob.

I've been trying to convince him that maybe sex would be good for both of us right now... but I'm not sure if that is exposing myself as a doormat or not. It's the only EN that I have a chance of fulfilling right now.