My h and I have been living in seperate households for a year and a half. He is in the military and got an assignment. I had a great job where I was and there was a possibility that he could get back. We mutually agreed that I should stay until the assignment worked out. Time kept going by and we got assured over and over that things were "being worked." Finally, we decided that I would leave my job and join him where he was. Me and our 2 daughters moved. We have been here for less than 3 months when my h was asked to go on a trip for three weeks. Coincidentillay, this would be the day I started my new job. I expressed my discontent with him leaving and he went anyways without even trying to find an alternative.

I am so frustrated and angry. I am tired of carrying the weight of our family alone. Right now, our youngest daughter is sick with pneumonia and I am not feeling well either. He is on his trip and I have missed 3 days of my brand new job (great first impression). I'm sure I will be home at least tomorrow too.

Bottom line, he doesn't seem to consider me when making decisions. I feel like a fool because this is a pattern in our relationship and I think I pretty much need to accept it or go. I don't really want to go, I want our kids to have a dad, but I'm tired of being disappointed. It's almost easier to be alone than with someone who isn't really there for me.

We used to facilitate a class that used marriage builder techniques at our previous church. We know how this stuff works. This tends to make it harder because we just can't seem to get things right.

Have you told him? What did he say? I've found many men have no intention of working harder to make a marriage work because...they don't have to. The woman usually just puts up with so much, and thus the men get to have the best of all worlds.

He needs to know how close you are to leaving. Otherwise, he isn't being given an opportunity to step up. But, if you tell him and he still isn't willing to take counseling or whatever you need, maybe leaving should be an option. You have to weigh whether you want your daughters growing up thinking it's ok for the man to get to slide - they'll pick husbands just like their father, you know.