My wife and I are going through a divorce.

I've recently learned she had been having an affair with a married co-worker, I started e-mailing her about this, as well as the individual and told them I was going to tell his wife.

I learned today that she filed a restraining order.

Can anyone offer any recommendations?

Have you been served the RO? Even if she did file one against you, I'm sure it says nothing about the OM nor his BW.

I would expose the A to his wife. Chances are she knows nothing about it. Usually exposure ends the A because it destroys the secrecy and fantasy of the A.

Have you read any of the information on the Links on the side of the page? Another place to start would be to post this question on the General Questions part of the forum. There is more traffic there.

Good luck.

You should never have told your wife you were going to expose her.

Just do it and give the other wife the evidence as they have already coordinated their lies.

OM told his wife I was insane and if I ever showed up at their door, it was because my wife was lying to me and I was coming to kill them.

Unless OM's Wife is named in the restraining order there is nothing they can do to stop you from exposing.

Don't talk about it anymore...just do it.

Tell OM's Wife.

If you've been served with a restraining order respect it. Even if WW contacts you...you still must not contact her. They can really paint you as crazy if they can get you thrown in jail. There are ways to dispute restraining orders. Do it in court and heck...invite OM's Wife to the hearing as she's likely already been warned about you so you could offensively dispute the "crazy" "possessive" "jealous" husband excuse by inviting the woman to listen in on the restraining order hearing.

Call her or stop by her home today. Offer copies of your proof but be careful. There is no better way to lash out at your WS's than to hook up with the other BS. Don't do it and be on guard against it. Protect YOUR integrity and that of OM's Wife.

Mr. Wondering

I would love to know how she got an RO? When my STBXH was sneaking around my house stealing stuff, I called the cops to find out exactly how I can go about getting one. They told me that unless he is doing something that is actually against the law, it's impossible. On all occassions he did this, either my DS let him in (so he didn't break in) or there is no conclusive proof that he was there (when he stole the chainsaw from the shed outside). The only criminal activity I have proof of is when he stole 2 eggs from my roommate - hardly something the police will pursue.

It depends on the state......here in Iowa it's pretty easy to get an RO just by saying you are "afraid of him or her". Sadly, that can lead to abuse of it too.