My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 2 months, and we'd known each other for about a year before that. We'd clicked ever since we met, finding that we had a similar sense of humor, similar interests, etc. It didn't take long after dating for us to fall in love. I am 99% positive that he's going to propose to me sometime this summer.
I've always known that he was very stubborn and would never back down from his opinion. However, when he hurt me in the past with what he'd say to make his point, he always apologized the next day. I suspect now it's because he was afraid of losing me, and now that he knows he won't (since I finally gave him a ring), he seems beyond apologizing for his hurtful words. I understand how he can't back down, being stubborn myself, but one thing that I've never done when we argue is tell him outright that he's wrong, because I believe an opinion is never wrong, especially the opinion of someone I care about, even if I disagree. But my boyfriend doesn't take my feelings into consideration anymore: what he says goes, and if I disagree, I'm wrong, and if I'm wrong, then I must be held at fault for my beliefs. It's very hurtful, and I've gotten into the habit of losing my temper over it, it has become so bad. This has caused me to keep my feelings to myself because I'm afraid he'll judge them and decide he disagrees, when all I want is for someone to listen to me. Now it seems like we have nothing to talk about because I'm so guarded.
It's not only our opinions that cause disruption: whenever I suggest a way to fix any problems we have in our relationship, he dwells on the belief that I'm accusing him of doing something wrong. I never thought I sounded accusatory...I only wanted to find out how to solve our problems, but that requires accepting that there IS a problem, even if you are involved. I know some of the problems are my fault too, but I can't be blamed for ALL of them. If I suggest a solution that requires him to change his behavior, the problem is suddenly MY fault because I'm asking him to change. For example, he complains that our sex life hasn't been as exciting, but he refuses to believe that it's because he NEVER cuddles with me afterwards, or turns on the TV or immediately wants food, and he won't believe that his affection towards me has changed. But it has...every touch seems to mean sex. If I want a few minutes of kissing, it doesn't mean I want to rip my clothes off EVERY time. But since he always has to be right, it's suddenly my fault that our sex life is burning out: I don't put enough eagerness into it, or it's always the same. He doesn't understand that my needs are the same as all women's needs, to have non-sex related affection, to be held and cuddled with and talked to without being accused of something or without my difference of opinion starting a debate.
It just seems like we can never reach a compromise. I just want him to accept that he's part of the problem too so I don't have to fix it by myself and hope I'm doing it right for the rest of our lives. Any ideas on how I can convince him to help me would be greatly appreciated.
