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has he ever been violent with you before?
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Can you call a friend to go to the bank with you?
What kind of notes did he leave? If there is anything at all threatening you can get an RO against him quickly. I went to get one but it was denied because my husband had not been violent and had not threatened to be violent. But you just go to the courthouse and go before the judge, and it is issued. It took me less than an hour.
Does he have any history of being violent?
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No, but he is so mad now I don't trust him. I'm afraid he will hurt me. I can't take the chance. And I don't want to see him like that, either. He is probably more mad at me than he's ever been before.
What should I do? I had to call the police. I HAD to!
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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No specific threat so I guess he was being safe there. Barely legible scribbles but I could read them just find and the text message also. Plenty of expletives because he is SO MAD!
No history of being violent.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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There's no one that can go with me right now to the bank.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Jun 2004
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well if he is currently DWI....and he gets picked up he's going to jail.....did he leave any notes with threats? those could be construed as evidence to get a R.O. if your that worried about it....aand he couldn't come home then....the man would have to be a fool to screw up when he's already on probation....call his probation officer and let him/her know whats up....and GET THAT MONEY OUT OF THE BANK....take someone with you...but get it out of there before he screws you over....call the bank and say his card has been stole or something...CUT HIM OFF!
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Joined: Oct 2007
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And all that is going through my head now is that Eddie Money song, "No Control," if that's the correct title. I know it's in the chorus.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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get a civil stanby if needed.....especially if he's at the house at all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Just calm down, Charlotte, he just called you some bad names because you ruined his affair. Go to the bank and get your money out and go home. If he misbehaves, call the police and have his [censored] hauled to jail.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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His anger will blow over. You just stole his crack pipe from him.
Can you stay in a motel for the night or with a friend?
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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I think I will stay at my grandma's tonight. I was supposed to get Halloween candy too, I promised my mom. Now I have all of the doors locked and I'm scared to even walk outside.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 1,593
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believer....you beat me too it....charolett....go to the bank...you will be in a public place...if he shows up and makes a scene...perfect...announce his adultery right there to everyone...he will shut up quick.
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why are you letting him control you?
your giving him what he wants....fear....to stop you from living your life and shutting yourself up away where you can't do more damage for him.
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I don't want to leave my grandma here alone. If the cops were parked somewhere watching the house I would. But they are just going to be doing drive-bys right now.
I don't think it's worth the paltry amount he left in there to risk it.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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I will be at the bank before the doors open on Friday morning to get the money. I don't think the lawyer will be able to do anything in time.
If I can get there before he gets there from wherever he is staying it will be okay.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278 |
Maybe after I calm down I'll be able to go to the bank. I'll do it if I can calm down.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Charlotte, what has he done that has you so scared? All he did was leave you mean notes. You knew he would be mad. I don't get it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yea...if there's no money there right now you may be best off sitting back and trying to get money on friday immediately after the direct deposit of his wages takes place.
Fill the tank on your car and get some groceries to tide you over. Some grocery stores will allow you to take an extra $20 or $50 as a cash advance on a credit card too.
Stay calm. The more upset he is the better job you did.
Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Thank you Mr. W. I will do that.
Well, Melody, he has always kind of scared me when he was angry...I've just never been the target before. But he has never been this angry before. I was never scared that he would turn the anger on me when he was angry with someone else but he is scary when he is angry. Because his temperament is normally so calm and soothing.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 7,093
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If you still keep feeling so afraid, get some pepper spray and keep it handy. I used to carry it as a bartender going to my car at night. Used it once and it worked like a charm. The more upset he is the better job you did. Yes. And Charlotte, his anger will not last. In one of your earlier posts you said he would respect you more for standing up and fighting for your marriage. So don't you worry abou that either. It could be you got all that adrenalin racing and causing some of your fear too. But still take precautions.
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