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I guess I am being irrational about this. I am just scared and nervous now. I have calmed down somewhat, though.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Keep your cell phone with you, and call 911 if you are frightened of him.
The only good thing is that usually they calm down in a day or two.
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But he has never been this angry before. I was never scared that he would turn the anger on me when he was angry with someone else but he is scary when he is angry. Because his temperament is normally so calm and soothing. Well keep your cell phone handy and remember to lock the doors.
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Thanks, weaver. I'll do that. I hope he has left town already to stay wherever he's going to stay.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I really hope that's what transpires, believer.
He is not a person who easily forgives. Trouble is, he doesn't seem to realize that I AM the one who needs to forgive him for his devastation to our marriage and all of the other devastation left in the wake of their A.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: May 2004
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And if he is, for sure get the pepper spray, because they are so stupid they get right in your face.
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No but he does take too much pain medication sometimes.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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Posts: 3,278 |
I guess he didn't take enough of it today.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Don't be getting ahead of yourself.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Posts: 3,278 |
In what way, big kahuna? I don't know which post you were responding to.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 1,372
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You don't have to go to the bank to get money out of the account ... Find an ATM. Make an online transfer. Write yourself a check, into another account -- or do an electronic bill-pay check to yourself (that would get cut automatically by the bank then mailed to you). Lots of other options than going to the bank.
Just want you to know that this is normal. My H was furious when I exposed to his boss. He took the kids out of school and disappeared with them. Your M can survive his anger, it can't survive him continuing an A. It's nerve-wracking, but it'll be ok. Deep breaths and try to calm down. He's ticked, but hopefully too smart to actually hurt you - especially now that hte police have been called. Be cautious and smart, but don't get paralyzed or imprison yourself with fear.
-AmI.
WH's A: 1/18/06 - ???? D-Days: 3/28, 4/14 (false recovery), 9/5
8/11 -- WH announces that he doesn't love me anymore.
9/5, confirmed A was renewed, PBL & re-exposure which gets him investigated. He refuses to move out and gets blatant with the A.
10/15, “Plan F-U”. Yuck. But it did start some talking.
C w/OW continued until ....?
MC with SH
11/24, WH says he loves me.
Making progress. My own and with us.
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The more pissed off they are, the more damage exposure did to their affair. I'm sure he's pissed. He can't control you anymore. Now he's just lashing out at you. I know you are afraid, but try and calm down. Maybe have a little chuckle about how childish he is acting. He's just trying to bully you. His affair is crumbling. It will blow over in time.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Thank you AmIok.
He baited me over there...I guess I knew it was bait.
At least he stayed away and just sent a text. That means he was afraid of losing control so he stayed away from me?
I hope that's it.
That would mean he doesn't want to hurt me physically. Maybe I'm jumping at shadows for nothing. Every time a car drives by here and the reflection shines into the carport I get a little jumpy.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 3,278
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Posts: 3,278 |
Thank you, Jim. I'm not at the chuckling stage quite yet. Maybe later. Or not. I don't know. Also my horse is at the utility room door that leads to the outside and she keeps banging it for me to go out there with her FOOD!!! I hear the bang and I'm afraid it's him sneaking in the back way.
I hope that I did do some major damage with the exposure.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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Posts: 3,278 |
I have to watch myself. I am so tempted to text him and tell him I can't talk to him when he's like this right now. But I don't want to do that. I don't think that would be productive at all.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278 |
It's been nearly 2 hours now. I'm about ready to go get that candy, I think. I'd sure like to try.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 1,593
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charlotte....I don't mean to sound harsh...you've done an excellent job....don't freak out now...but get a back bone....this is going to be a truly hard situation....sure he's mad....but you have to be able to stand up for yourself more and DO NOT show him your afraid of him or he will use it to his advantage....your at war right now....DO NOT show your fear to the enemy...get mad....think about it this way...you show your fear to him an he calls OW and they laugh about how worthless and meek you are and how he got away with it all....do you want that?
Break down after confrontations not before or during.....do it in private....but show that fearsome woman I know you have in there that will not put up with this crap.....get to that bank and do what you have to do.
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Okay surviving. I think I am a bit better now. Did I do the right thing in calling the police? I think so. I didn't know what was going to happen.
I believe I'll be going to get that candy here in a few minutes.
I'll check back in when I get back. I told my grandma to NOT answer the door if he shows up.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 1,593
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yes calling the police was excellent...you had cause for concern...it has been noted...and if anything happens(which i don't think it will) it's evidence against him for being such a [censored].....you shold have taken pictures of the destruction in the house...even tho it's community property it displays his character.
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