Let me run a scenario by you all and tell<BR>me what you think. I'm either waaaay to<BR>suspicious or I have a problem.<P>My husband plays ball every friday night. I<BR>always go and watch, and after I ususally<BR>go home with our kids. He stays with his<BR>buddies. Sometimes I do stay with him and<BR>have a few beers, etc. Anyway, last week<BR>I stayed. The kids became tired and I put<BR>them in our motorhome to sleep. I went back to the party and later we all went home. My<BR>oldest then told me what happened while they<BR>were in there. She said that "Heather" (a groupie type) opened the door, and seemed like she was coming in, when my oldest sat<BR>up, Heather left. I, flew totally out of control<BR>(please read my profile). I flew into a<BR>rage and asked my H why would this woman be<BR>opening the door of our motorhome. He said<BR>"how should I know, you know how weird she is". Weird? yes. But she is also nice looking and very available. Now, I have trusted this man, and he stays at the ball field/bar with his friends every friday night. What is your take on this? <BR>Or, am I over-reacting from past history that<BR>has come back to haunt me.<P>I feel like such a loser. Like I'm out of<BR>control (nobody knows, I keep this all inside<BR>except when I went nuts about "Heather").<P>I have a feeling that years of buried anger<BR>is coming out and I don't know where to put it. My counseling session was weak. I<BR>poured my heart out and was told to just keep<BR>it in the past, it is over. OK, fine. But<BR>what about my anger? <P>oooooooooohhhhhh I feel like an idiot. It's as if I let him get away with it 10 years<BR>ago, and now I want to smack him, but how<BR>stupid is that? Please, don't laugh at me<BR>I don't know if this man is cheating on me<BR>with "Heather" or if my anger from unresolved issues from 10 years ago is clouding my judgement. <P>HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPP

Hi, Rocket,<BR> First, a question. Do you take your motorhome to the ballgames every Friday night? I guess I'm really wondering why, since I know that motorhomes usually don't get good gas mileage. I can see how it would come in handy if you stay and party a little with H and his friends. Does your H stay in it sometimes if he's had too much to drink after the game?<BR> In any case, it may be that Heather just wanted to use the bathroom. Or, it could be cause for alarm.<BR> I think that I wouldn't say anything more to my H about it. But, it might be wise to line up a sitter and double back some Friday night to join the party.

The Motorhome (small, older) goes every<BR>friday night. The guys change in it and the ball field is about 20 miles from the house.<P>Thanks for your input, I guess I never thought of the bathroom. In my own mind<BR>I'm panicing. I just have this eeery feeling, and I don't know if it's from the<BR>past or from something that is going on now.<P>But thanks.

Rocket,<P>I wouldn't panic yet. I am a firm believe however in the following. When you first get married I still believe in blind trust. You fully trust your partner. Once the vows are broke the blind part of trust goes away. You will still learn to trust again but the trust can never be blind again. Sooo I believe it is okay to put our minds at ease. I agree with Sweetpea....check up on him and his buddies.<P>Line up a baby sitter and double back so you can join the party. I think you will get a pretty good impression as to whether or not you are "interupting" any plans.<P>For the next few weeks I would plan to stay every Friday for the "party".

Ever thought that maybe one of the other players is using the motorhome for his quickies. Just a thought.

You guys are really good for my nerves. I will take your advice, and stay with the guys and see whats up. <P>See, 10 years ago, when he cheated on me, it<BR>about killed me, but I had so much on my<BR>plate at the time to deal with. My sister<BR>had just died, my job was done, etc. <P>I read on here and went to Vaughns page and<BR>found out what I might be suffering. We<BR>never really dealt with the affair. Sure,<BR>he was "sad" and felt bad, etc. (from reading here, I guess I'm a lucky one). But<BR>I didn't have time. We had a mortgage that<BR>needed to be paid, food to put on the table,<BR>and the general details of dailey life. I<BR>think my mind literally blocked out the<BR>affair. I chose to belive him when he said<BR>he would never see her again. So here I am 10 years later, I'm starting to dream about<BR>him and her, and words are coming back to haunt me. I remember so much. I know I sound silly, but wow, it still hurts. I <BR>CAUGHT him. I found a receipt in his pocket,and after he lied, etc. he fessed up.<BR>I guessed who it was, since he wouldn't tell me. I asked if he loved her, he said "yes-no, I don't know". Then he told me that he had told her that he had no idea how<BR>I found out, he actually said "he would feel embarrased to be caught" 10 Years later this<BR>is driving me nuts! See, I have tons of<BR>unresolved issues. The OW husband (they are since Divorced due to her habitual affairs), called me and we talked. He told me of things that she had told him, and vice-a-versa. Needless to say, when I spoke with H, he at first denied, they said yes...everything was a struggle. Today, as<BR>I write this I actually hate him. It passes but boy the resentment is deep. <P>My therapist told me that I should think of<BR>ways that I could count on him..like if I had a death in the family, or something. HELLLO,<BR>she wasn't listening. This whole affair happened on the heals of my sisters horrific<BR>death, and the loss of my job. Then she told me my problem was that when I think of<BR>my sister, it brings me right to the affair and I should stop thinking of her. I obviously didn't pick a good one did I? Yoy people on here are far more intelligent and<BR>compassionate then she was.<P>Anyway, thanks. I feel better, maybe just <BR>talking about it,and letting off my steam is<BR>good for me. <BR>