I was supposed to get married this December and for the last two months at the least, my fiancee has taken back many promises. He lives an hour and a half from me and promised, on his own free will, that he would move to my home town. In the past month he has stated that he isn't moving to my town and that is that. He wants me to move halfway after we have already gotten a house. During this time period he treats me differently. He doesn't hardly call me anymore, when he used to call me at least 5 times a day. He said that he is not following a schedule and that is that. He has also changed plans with me in the past few weeks several times to spend time with his friends and family with no notice of changes. I understand he needs time with family but his consideration and committment seems to lack seriously when it comes to us. He has started just recently saying that he is tired of everything and that he doesn't have it in him anymore. Recently he has been verbally abusive with cursing me and demeaning me with all of my faults and saying "No one will ever stay with you" and "You will die an old lonely lady." I had not ever told him those things. Even with the verbal abuse, he has gotten physical with me once and messed up several personal property items of mine in his fit of rage. He shows NO REMORSE!He doesn't bring up what he has done or even acknowledge that he did these things and when I bring them up he gets upset and says HE is insulted. I don't deny that I have had faults in this relationship, but recent events have proven that I have tried to change so that he doesn't get upset. But every week there are more things that I need to change rather than HIM. Should I give him an ultimatum or should I just end everything? Please help. I need advice.

honey, I know it will be painful, since I am sure you have invested a lot of yourself in this relationship since you were about to get married and feel in-love, but...

Do Not Marry This Man! If these behaviors are present before marriage and just weeks before your wedding, they will only be a bigger problem once you are married. There really is no ultimatum to give, is there? Cut your losses now, before you have so much more to lose! You deserve more.

Blessings,
Glad

Tally, why would you repost this exact same post from another forum when you stated earlier today that you had broken off the relationship yesterday?

Are we not telling you what you WANT to hear? Do you want everybody to lie to you and tell you that you can somehow be his savior and your love can change him?

It won't. You. Can't. Change. Him. Please read what everybody is saying...

I know it hurts, Tally, but they are right. I lived with an alcoholic father and (unknown to me) a sexually abusive husband. They will only change if it comes from within themselves. My father did change... some. But it took about 20 years. I have to agree with the others. You have to protect your heart. This man is not good for you. Make yourself do what it takes to leave him. He is hurting you and it will only get worse. Listen to those who have been there. Get out before the real commitment comes into play and it takes lawyers and a courtroom or two to get away from this man.

I know it hurts.