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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 43
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 43 |
Do you guys have the feeling that you could never take them back and trust them. Right now I am feeling like I want out of this because my husband has had 4 sexual encounters in 8 years and I only discovered all this 8 weeks ago. The last affair was a romantic one. I really wanted it to work so badly but since I discovered he was still seeing her and told me he wanted to be with her I feel like all hope is lost and I don't want to go through this again. A part of me is a little excited of seeing who i am without him (I've been with him since I was 18, I'm now 29). I have never had the chance to just date and know anything other than him. How do you know when it's time to move on? A big part of me wants to go ahead and move on but then a part of me is saying to sleep on it and give it time b/c I may feel differently tomorrow.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Do you think he will change dramatically? Unless you think so, I don't see how your feelings tomorrow will make any difference, unless you are willing to accept a serial cheater after you sleep on it. Are you willing to live in an open marriage?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,033
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,033 |
Personally, I believe that it is wiser to make decisions such as this one from a place of logic, asking yourself what the best choice is for YOU.
Emotion has no place in wise decision making regarding large issues.
I am also a feelings driven person and this has been a difficult thing for me to practice.
One trick that helps me with this is to pretend like it is someone else in the situation asking me what to do. This enables me to practice objectivity by removing my emotions about the circumstance and allowing me to operate logically.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
littlebit, put another way, are you AVERSE to serial cheaters? If so, you might want to accept that you can't change him and move on. If not, then you don't have a problem.
Have you been tested for STDs?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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