I would talk to your A about this.

This kind of stand could backfire on you.

He could get a court to rule against you for not allowing him to see the kids.

~ Marsh

Does he drink?

My kids dad DID take my boys while we were divorcing. He picked them up while I was at work at the babysitters house and didn't let her know. I ended up calling the police and reporting them missing. He kept them for a week before he got tired of the game. I share your concern.

Yes, ask your attorney. I believe that you could offer to let him see the children in your home, but not allow him to take them anywhere. I would make sure that there was a male family member there, just in case he tried anything. If you have no male family member, maybe a friend and her husband would agree to be present while he visited.

Marsh, she needs a temp custody order, because he's already threatened to take the kids away from her by telling her DD that he was going to have her living with him. At this point, he could take the kids to McDonalds and just not bring them back.

I told him he could come to the house and see the kids. Right now he could also take my kids. He wants it his way or no way....he just wants to cuss me out if I dont do what he wants.....he will be served this week...then we can set up arrangements.

we are setting up a temporary custody hearing he doesnt know that. My attorney said hopefully we can get in the court within 2 weeks.

Ok, good!

~ Marsh

The temporary hearing will be to establish custody, child support since he left me with nothing. Occupancy of the house. My Attorney told me that my husband would be sent a letter in the mail with the court date. That we both have to appear.

He will be served the divorce papers this week. I would let him come here to see the kids I would have just went to my bedroom but no he wont do that...he wants to just argue and I will not do that with him...you know he wanted this so this is what he is going to get....My number one priority right now is my kids well being.

Are you talking with your children about what is going on?

Yes I have My oldest is kindof quiet but he is asking me questions and talking to me....my little one.. I have explained to her as best as I can for her age....she has her sad moments but I just let her know that its ok to be sad mommy is sad too and we can be sad together. I told them both how much their Daddy loves them and misses them and they will see him soon.

You also don't want your kiddos to be exposed to his bullying, cussing your out, etc. If he does happen to show up, set a tape recorder out right in front of him so he'll know you're recording everything that transpires. Then have one hidden somewhere else in case he freaks about it. You may not be able to use what you record on the hidden one (depending on your state laws) but you'll have it if worse came to worse.

WAIT! U R willing to let your children go with someone who has no control over his anger? Go check out your rights and that of your children. They are not safe in his care until he gets his anger under control. The deciding factor is that he can be fair to both your children and you.

Any abuse to you or the children makes you all victims of abuse. Do NOT release your children into his care while he is like this. Go report his acts to the police and check out your options. You can ask for supervised visits. Check out the women's abuse hotline in your area.

L.

Well another sleepless night I have not slept a full night in over a week. I am sooooo exhausted....mentally and phsically and i start my new full time position tomorrow. I just dont understand any of this.........

Mom,

Please read up on Plan B. You must stop all contact with him.

Pick an intermediary or use your attorney. You must focus on keeping yourself SANE and your children happy.

DO NOT allow him to come to the house to see the kids. This is of course what he wants, so he can "cuss" you out. If he really must see the kids, have someone take the kids to a meeting place. Then he can drop them off, WITHOUT coming into the house. You did change the locks, correct?

YOU ARE BEING MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND VERBALLY ABUSED!!!

You must take action against this abuse. You are this scum ball's punching bag. He feels much better about himself when he can lash out and degrade you.

I strongly agree that you should contact the local women's abuse center and at least talk to a counselor to find out what rights you have in this sitch. Plus there will be a record of you looking for help from this a$$h&le.

STOP ALL CONTACT WITH HIM!!! Concentrate on getting yourself back together.

IMHO

kirk

How are things today, Mom?

I'm doing ok. I have had no contact with WH. He has called and talked to the kids every night. I'm just taking it day by day....well really moment by moment. I have started my new job and that has helped. I have good moments and bad moments......sometimes it almost feels unbearable. I know this is probably all part of the process. I know whatever happens I will be ok. I will be ok........

Good. Moment by moment when you have to. Day by day is fine.

It will get better. Glad to hear that the job is going well.

Have you treated yourself to anything? Just do something totally for YOU. Massage is one of my favorites.

I remember those times of just getting through each day. But I promise you it will get better.

How are your kids doing?

Mom,

(BUMP)

Hope you are surviving, keeping very dark on your WH, and working hard at the new position.

Any update would be appreciated. There are many here in the halls of MB that are concerned for your well being. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

kirk

BUMP one more time.

What happened on "D-Day 11/20/05"? Is it the same woman? What consequences did he get for cheating?