Hi gang. It's been a while since I have written. So I thought I'd give you an update.

It's been almost 4 months since my H moved out. Since his departure, things between us have gotten progressivley better for the most part. We talk to each other every day. We have gotten together a few times a week for dinner dates or moves or to do fall work around the yard at our house.

I have talked to him about moving back home and he says he's not ready for it yet. I asked him if he would go to MC but he said don't you want to have to get back together to go see a MC? He has not mentioned D either. He says he's afraid to come back because he doesn't want to be unhappy again.
I know that I've been working a great plan A. And I know that he has noticed the changes. I asked him if anything I've done has made him feel any different. He says that he doesn't hate me anymore and that he did for a long time. But he also says that he thinks that alot if the things that I say and do are fake.

What can I do?

I feel better about the way things are going now than I have in quite a while between us, but I don't want to fool myself.

He also has some things going on in his family life that have is mind focused elsewhere. His older brother has a severe alcoholism problem and he and his parents are trying to figure out what to do with him. And it appears that recently there has been a breakdown of my in-laws 30+ year marriage, which has got his head in a spin.

FYI, the ski buddy is now out of the picture confirmed. it appears she has moved onto greener pastures......Go figure.

I think if my H moved back home things would get better, but he is afraid to. I need some advice at this point what should I do. What should I do?

You could work your plan A for a couple more weeks then go to a Plan B.

I feel like he is fencesitting and you do not deservfe that. Time to focus just on YOU and cut him off from the ENs he is receiving from you without having to do anything on his on for them.

Time to make HIM work on recovery.

Zora,

""He says he's afraid to come back because he doesn't want to be unhappy again. ''' = FOGSPEAK

FOGSPEAK = "A" PROBABLY STILL GOING ON.

Who told you the ski bunny is out of the picture?? WH?? Go Figure!

Plan A but keep snooping...something is fishy here.

kirk

A close friend of mine that works for the same company as they do told me that the ski friend has a new boyfriend and that he has been coming by the office to pick her up for lunch daily.

I have also noticed other changes in my H. For example, he has gained about 20 lbs since he moved out.... One of the things that did happen to him when they got involved was that he lost weight. Well it seems that he put it all back on and then some.

What I think is going on is that my H got a taste of the single life and he likes it and that's where he is at right now. Who know, there maybe something is going on with someone else.

I don't want to lie to myself so I am keeping my eyes open.