Do you keep choosing relationships that are bad for you? Have the same trouble in getting along with others? Can't make it to your goals? It may be "lifestorms" that are holding you back. Find out more.
NARCiSSiSTiC ABUSE
Information and Education about emotional and verbal abuse by Positive Psychology certified coach and consultant, author, speaker, Ann Bradley, M.A.
Narcissism is categorized as a personality disorder by the mental health profession. It is referred to as NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Few are ever diagnosed because few go to therapy. Narcissism is not high self-esteem, but a condition where the typical narcissist suffers from
Preoccupation with hiding real or perceived flaws
Overestimation of importance, achievements, talents and skills
Maladaptive attention seeking behavior
Inability to empathize with others
Excessive anger and shame in response to criticism often resulting in rage
The narcissist will often manipulate others, especially partners, to control them. Projection and blame are hallmarks of this manipulation. It is estimated that 85% of narcissists are males.
Because living with a narcissist can be extremely painful, it is important to understand
You are not to blame
Narcissists ensnare everyone
Learning how to leave is important
Rebuilding a life takes courage but you can do it
There are plenty of people to help you, but it may not be your family or friends
Information can be your ally to learn you are not alone
ON THIS SITE YOU WILL FIND
Information on identifying a narcissist, divorcing a narcissist, choosing the right attorney for this situation, and custody information specific to difficult divorce situations.
Identifying red flags in relationships so you don't make the same mistake again. Ever wonder why you choose the same bad partner over and over again? You can break free of this cycle and kiss abuse good-bye forever!
ARE YOU TIRED of the Narcissist, abuser or bully in your life?
Does your partner, friend, or parent
lie about you to others,
manipulate,
isolate,
hoard money,
belittle, blame and rage?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
If narcissistic personality disorder or other emotional abusers are ruining your life, take action. The narcissist does not get better, but you can. Many people are both afraid to leave and afraid to stay thinking they are alone and nothing can be done.
Often, upscale abusers are perceived as being able to buy their way out, leaving the abused feeling completely powerless. Learned helplessness means you think you have no power to change a situation. It leads to depression. IT IS NOT PERMANENT. You have the ability to change yourself, your beliefs and a bad situation. You can UNlearn the feeling of helplessness.
Action is the antidote to depression.
I promise life can be good again. I can show you how to use interventions that calm you down to make good decisions, take care of yourself, and plan a good future. You don't need to be miserable. It isn't encoded in your DNA! In fact, the more you act positively, the more your brain changes.
I
EXCLUSIVE! September 2007
TV and FILM STAR DONNA D'ERRICO INTERVIEW ON DIVORCING NIKKI SIXX, rock star from Motley Crue DEALING WITH LIES AND BAD ATTORNEYS
With Baywatch behind her and just back from filming in London, and in the middle of a divorce, Donna gives us honest talk on life inside a Hollywood divorce. Donna found this website just like everyone else and I've known her for a year. Let's hear what this witty, talented and wonderful woman has to say and what she is going to do for women and children in divorce all over the U.S. after learning what really goes on in family court. DONNA D'ERRICO joins us on narcissisticabuse.com
Information
BOOKSTORE
CHARACTERISTICS of the NARCISSIST
Strategies for recognizing narcissists, leaving them, self-esteem, rebuilding a life, divorce and custody.
Maybe you've tried setting boundaries, making compromises, thinking,
"If I act nicer, things will get better." Maybe you vow to be a survivor,
not a victim, but it hasn't happened yet.
Abuse wears you down. Therapists and family think
it is your fault. It's time to take control and take back your life.
If you had a narcissistic parent, you may still be dealing with the
anger and shame from long ago.
Finding ways to take control is the beginning of the end of the
abuse. Changing the way you think is the beginning of changing your life.
Ann, you have touched and positively healed so many deeply injured people and that certainly includes me. You have been my lifeline a million times, I have felt understood by you and not alone, you have educated and encouraged me, I have learned from you that I am not crazy, just badly traumatized including physically by the relentless domestic and legal aggression and the losses I have absorbed. Oh, Ann, you have helped me fight off a terrible sense of humiliation, shame and guilt.. And for being fatigued and sick and weepy. You are part of my clawing my way back up....E.K.
There are lots of articles on this site about narcissism. Browse the books and content on everything from divorce to verbal abuse. Read and learn, this is the first step important step to awareness and action.
Sign up for research on coping, relationships, positive psychology, divorce, and tips on how NOT to get in this place again. Client stories and questions featured and tips on how to live from your strengths not your weaknesses.
If you are here, you probably have been hurt by someone with
narcissistic personality disorder or another form of abuse.
It is painful to be deceived and in chaos from their manipulations.
Waiting for them to get better is futile.
If you are not sure if someone you know, male or female, is a narcissist
look at the CHARACTERISTICS of the NARCISSIST .
I was married to a narcissist, but I didn't know it until we got divorced.
That's the kind I call stealth narcissists. They are in stealth mode until
challenged. Other narcissists may show themselves in other ways. Divorcing
him took strength and I had to learn about abusive divorce attorneys
as well as abusive spouses. But you don't have to go through this.
ONE MORNING CHANGED MY LIFE
I did graduate work at Stanford in psychology and it was there I learned
about learned helplessness. LH is the concept or belief you hold
that nothing you do matters, that you cannot change anything.
I forgot about learned helplessness until one morning I woke up and
it was on my mind and with an "aha" moment of clarity I realized I only
thought I couldn't change anything. From then on, I decided to change
my beliefs, and from that change my actions. ABC: Adversity, belief,
consequence. From then onward my divorce changed. Not overnight,
but crushing weight of stress was gone. I knew I could no longer
see things as impossible. I had to change my beliefs about fear of
abuse, and take action.
Waiting Won't Help, It Makes Things Worse
Unfortunately, waiting makes you older, not wiser in this
situation. The longer you are in a relationship with a
manipulator or a verbal, physical or emotional abuser, the
harder it is to leave. Information is your friend. If you don't
take action now, tomorrow may be too little, too late.
CONSULTATION
If you are thinking of leaving or divorcing, schedule a consultation to learn what steps
you need to take immediately or to evaluate your situation. Or if you want to learn how to
deal with being the child of a narcissist and self-esteem issues, please
don't wait any more. Life is short, it's time to learn how to have fun again.
"Ann - You helped me be calm in the midst of this divorce storm. You worked so hard for me, your ideas changed how we did things and made all the difference. Thank you, thank you!" J.B.
ONE TIME CONSULTATION TO EVALUATE YOUR SITUATION: We will come up with an action plan or help define your situation. We can work on goals for future action or we can work on interventions to help you cope. Relationships, divorce, positive psychology, interventions, consulting, goal setting - the choice is yours what we work on.
Phone Consultation with follow up email and action plan. CONSULTATION: Add To Cart
I was trained by Dr. Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania in Positive Psychology and how to use your strengths to increase happiness and decrease depression. (See The Science of Happiness, Time Magazine, Jan 17, 2005) Ask me about your signature strengths and how to use them to have a meaningful and engaged life. These and other "happiness tools" can be the road back to a life you thought might not be available. There are ways to make yourself "narcissist proof".
I provide an informative educational consultation with tactics and strategies you can use to disengage from your verbal or emotional abuser and to provide you with the skills to help you learn the power of regaining happiness after abuse. You don't have to be abused to be helped by this coaching. Powerful results are coming in from clinical research proving positive intervention techniques increase happiness in everyone's life. See OPRAH's special issue, "O" May 2005 "As Bad As It Gets" p336 for an example of a pessimist learning to be happy. Small story, but a powerful change. (Dr. Seligman coaching a pessimist)
Ask me how I used my signature strengths with a narcissist, and how it made me happier and how you can learn the same. This is powerful, positive psychology that really works. Signature Strength program: email for details
Ann Bradley
Univ. of Pennsylvania, Antioch, Stanford University
For the entire page, please visit:
http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/
