Here is my Story:

I found out while my husband was out of town working that he met a girl in a bar and was seeing her, she has a 15 yr old son too. I called him at the womens house. He said that
she was a friend. I hung up on him. The next day we spoke I asked him what was going on. He started yelling at me and here was his reasons why he did this.
1. I did not like his friends( which are drunks and do drugs). My husband does construction all the guys are bad
2. I spent too much money and I never saved it. (yes I did spend a lot, he never wanted any part of responsabilities of paying bills or anything he left everything for me to do. yes at times he would say oh we need to save-- but it was like oh honey go buy what you want. He thinks I only wanted him for his money. I have been threw so much with my husband in 15 years. He is verbaly abusive towards me when I would get mad or catch him in lies he would call me rotten filty names that I do not even want to mention. So, this girl moved in with him after knowing him 3 weeks, it has been 7 weeks since he has been gone. He tells me he loves me, I am agood person he is confused. About 2 weeks ago I told him I wanted a divorce- seperation he said he did not know what he wanted. then we got into an argument he hit me across my face. I have not talked with him in 2 1/2 weeks. I have been staying away. I do not know what direction to go.. My counselor said I am very co-dependent
please need strong advise.
thanks
missy

Welcome to MB.

Do you have children? How did the girl move in with HIM? Did you move out? I thought the girl already had a house?

This sounds like a very toxic marriage-- especially with the verbal and physical abuse.

Please tell us more details.

Hi
I have no children, I changed the locks on my door and packed his clothes-- Oh than my husband had said he has not been happy for many years. which everyone that knows us said thats a lie. I am wondering if he is going threw mid life crisis. he is 45 yrs old.
this girl left everything she had and followed him back to our town and moved in with him- she is on welfare. everyone thinks she had to be very desperate to move in with him. I just dont know -- people are telling me to hang in there not to jump the gun to quick

Hello missy,

Are you sure you want him back? He sounds pretty mean. If he booted the OW to the curb today and came back, would he still be drinking and being insulting to you?

Please go and read up on the rest of the site. There is a lot of useful and important information here.

Maybe with him out of the house, you can take a breather and think about yourself, and do things for yourself. You could think about the kind of marriage you want for the future. It could be with your husband - if he cleans up his act.

It could be with another man, someone good and kind, if you clean up YOUR act. The other man could be your husband, once he sees the improvements and work you do on yourself. He might just see that he has to be worthy of you in order to come home.

hi bellevue

Thanks for the info-- very kind and honest - I am working on my self---

just one other question I feel that my husband has a little jealous streak-- he also mentioned about me wearing makeup, and dressing too nice and working where there are guys this just blows my mind

HE has a jealous streak? What a maroon.

Cheating spouses sometimes accuse their innocent spouses of cheating. It's what they are doing, and the project it onto the innocent one to put them on the defensive. Pretty lame.

Glad to hear you are working on yourself. I spent too much time in a pity pit. Not productive.