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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 56
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 56 |
I just discovered this website this week. And it has been very interesting. I must admit, before this website, I had never even heard of the concept of exposure. Although it seems a bit radical to me, it appears everyone is in consensus that a betrayed spouse should in fact expose his or her spouse to family, friends and even coworkers. And while I think it's a bit outrageous of a plan, I can see the rationale behind it.
My question is this. What if the affair is over? What if the two of you are already in the healing process, and have been for a few months? Do you expose the past affair to everyone?
Just curious.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834 |
MWH:
No.
You don't expose the affair to "Everyone"
Exposure is used to Kill an Affair.
Exposure used to embarass is just that. Used to embarass.
Should you call the OM wife? Significant other? If he has one? Yes.
But if the A is over, and NC is in place, then you do not have to expose further.
But you do have to monitor for activity that may indicate that an affair might be continuing.
And if your detect additional contact, then you can expose to people who can help you break up the affair.
LG
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 56
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 56 |
Well, in my case, the OM has no other person in his life. From what I've discovered, he's pretty desperate for dates.
The "affair" (if you can even call it that) has been over for close to three months now. NC has been in place since then.
I wouldn't expose in my situation. But I was just wondering what others thought - what "the rules of exposure" were.
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222 |
Exposure is a weapon used to kill the fantasy of an affair and expose the WS to the consequences. Once the affair is over, there is no need for exposure except to the OP's BS. I know it may seem radical, but exposure really does work. My WW's affair was over within day's of exposure, even though she broke NC a few time afterwards.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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