Hi,
I have a peculiar problem with my girl friend. I know her from childhood and we have been very good friends. Infact best friends. Recently I proposed her. She likes me but doesn't want to get comitted with me. She is not interested in marriage and would like to do social service, help the poor, old and the kids. I promised that I would not come into her future plans after marriage but would never listen. I'm in so deep love with her that I can't lose her. Can anyone please advice me on what to do? I would appreciate any kind of advice.

By calling this a peculiar problem, I sense that you assumed a lot with regards to how she felt regarding marriage. Assuming how she feels or how she will respond to something is an invalidation of her feelings and is actually considered somewhat disrespectful.

Apparently, she had another idea for her future that you were not aware of or did not take seriously. Perhaps she had a different idea of what kind of relationship the two of you had.

I think fundamentally, the two of you are not on the same page as far as what your relationship is and/or are not in sincronization with your future plans for the relationship. In any case, it is not wise to push her into doing something she is not ready for. This may create resentment and will not do any marriage well.

I believe the two of you need to have another talk about your relationship and find out if there is even a (marital) future together before you invest any more thoughts or time into a romantic relationship with her. You obviously are ready to get married, but she may not be the right girl for you.

Sometimes, in cases like this, you have to be willing to reassess what your future with this person will be. Is it more important to you to be able to remain in contact with her as best friends for the rest of your life? Because if you're not willing to accept that, instead of marriage, you may end up with no contact with her at all. I agree, though, you need to be honest with each other. Tell her it's safe for her to tell you the truth about how she feels.

How old are you? You sound very young.