H is now at Bathesda for an eval. He had gone to the VA initially for treatment.

He has not been taking his meds now for a couple of days and I just spoke to him on the phone and he is starting to become paranoid and irritable. I think I will have to call his Dr. or hope that they admit him there at Bathesda.

Longhorn-I had been trying to tell the command for over a year that my H needs help. We work for the same command. There was always a reason that he could not get the help-mission accomplishment. Those in the military knows how that goes.

Owl-I know that PTSD is serious and the alcoholism makes it even worse, I have been dealing with this for a while now and am just so tired of being mistreated and disrespected. I hardly recognize this man. Actually, when he is taking his meds like he is supposed to and he is not drinking, then things are actually tolerable and I see parts if him coming back. It is the other times that make me want to get away. He blames me for everything. Everytime I try to talk to him about how rude and disrespectful he can be to me and DD he turns it around on us and tells us it is our fault.

Believer-I don't feel like I can do a plan B right now. One, I do not have a support system here two-we work in the same office since he is going through this investigation and medical treatment.

I'm so sorry. I work with vets and it always makes me feel so bad when I see that sacrifices they make. It is just a shame that your husband is going through this, and breaks my heart.

On the other hand, like they say on the airplane, YOU need to put on the oxygen mask first. You are going to have to protect YOURSELF and your daughter. When he gets disrespectful, leave the room. If he follows you, leave the house. Let him know that you will NOT tolerate disrespect from your husband. I hope he hasn't been violent.

It hurts me a lot too. I have been trying so hard to be supportive and loving-but it does not matter what I do, I cannot so anything right for him. His Dr. says that this is typical of PTSD sufferers, but it doesn't make it easier to know this KWIM?

I know that I have to get some help for myself-I just have to go and do it.

As for the violence-he has not been violent with me in months-since before I found out I was pregnant. It was very out of character for him, he did not hit me, but pushed me around and called me names. I do not think that it will get to that point again, as long as he does not drink.

Go get some help for yourself. Just go do it. If you don't want your work involved, go to Alanon or a women's support group. This is just all too much.

I DO believe in standing by your man, but NOT if he doesn't agree to help himself. He needs to completely stop drinking and stick with the PTSD recovery program.

And don't let them throw him out without him getting at least 80% service connected disability - should probably be 100%.

H is now heading back to Bathesda this week for more testing and therapy. They are looking to see if there is a traumatic brain injury that may explain some of the changes in personality, mood swings and memory loss-another issue we may have to deal with on top of the PTSD.

We did have a good heart to heart about the whole situation. He says he knows that things have been very hard for me and our daughter-and he is going to get right, to just stick with him through this. I told him that I would see this through, as long as he continues to get help and he makes progress.

He had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. His dad called him and told him that he has been disappointed in him. He used to have it all together and now he has "effed" it all up, and now is the time to pull it together because he has a son on the way. He is now a little in a panic about how he will support his family-but I told him we will have to figure out things a day at a time.

Thank you Believer, for your advice. I am looking for a local ALANON group.