"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." "Hanlon's Razor" by Robert J. Hanlon

Intent makes no difference to me, what matters is OUTCOME. I can kill someone drunk driving, but the outcome is the same whether I set out to kill them or just ran over them while blind drunk.

Even so, BA can now see and has been told her advice is harmful and wrongheaded, yet she continues to cause as much strife as possible. It phases her not a bit because doesn't care.

I am very new here, but I can tell you, when I found this place, it was an invaluable tool for me, it had an IMMEDIATE impact on my situation.

A part of the reason for that is because the advice offered here is based on a structured plan of action. There's some differing opinions on the minor details, but the general intent is the same. Having everyone that chimed in to help me tell me the same basic things made a big impression on me and led me to take positive steps to improve my situation.

Allowing someone to be here that is offering counterproductive advice, whether through intent or ignorance, even after being warned that they are doing so is not in the best interests of this forum and is just inviting BestAdvisor to do some real harm to someone that is at a very vulnerable point in thier life. This isn't a democracy, everyone's ideas do not hold equal value. Boot BestAdvisor, the sooner the better.

Then that would be the same as malintent. Offering advise and not caring of the outcome.

If you are new, and you are somewhat misguided in your understanding that is one thing. If you care not whether your advise is helpful or harmful, well that is another thing.

Okay, I've done some analyses.

Not ********************. I am pretty sure this is also not *************(and related iterations of that *****). The language use is very different, and command of vocabulary, spelling, and syntactic forms are just not as sophisticated as these others.

I think BA is female, on her own. Posts indicate the likelihood of a woman in some sort of tangled engagement - I wonder if she found herself in an other-other-woman situation? Dumped, but I'm not sure if the man she was with ended up with the wife or OOW?

At any rate, this one is not as good with sarcasm as CS, and certainly not as well-read as BP. She does not understand nuanced jabs as well as MM, nor make them either. We've had much better trolls here. At least the others READ the material here, and try to argue with something in their weaponry using the correct lingo and concepts.

BA, perhaps, just speculating you understand, but just perhaps, if you were to actually read the material here, you might find that it would be very helpful to you in your situation.

Instead, you have chosen to fight with us, ignore the moderators, and call us "idiots".

Au contraire. We are not idiots. There's something to be said of a person (you) who comes into a place and doesn't understand what is going on, becomes confused, and decides

EVERYONE ELSE HAS A PROBLEM.

What do we say of such a person?

Hmmmmm. I would say, "You need to do some thinking about that, BA. Because, honey girl, we ain't no idiots."

Oh, and please, for giggles, read my signature line. I'm needing an extra dose of faith tonight.

Ok, here are my two cents. I don't think BA is looking for advice or philosophy because the relationship is beyond repair. Thus, the only advice for her sad situation is the only advice she can offer others.

The truth is that although many of the circumstances people who post here find themselves in are difficult, they are not hopeless. If they were, they wouldn't be desparately seeking advice and encouragement.

Sometimes it takes someone without hope to remind us what a great thing it is, even when it is only just a flicker.

Scholbus-

you are soo right, I really don't know what a BA is--

somehow though I feel compelled in an odd sort of way -that I need to explain myself...sort of.

my husband had an affair, a year long one-with as we all know his soul mate.

When D -day occurred- I walked out-I left my children-him and my life.. I locked myself up in a room for weeks- he called and called-
one day I found this site.

One day a person called amon(sp?) answered me.

that day my life changed

and it has been changing ever since.

As for the term ...Sheila..Mr Wondering...my response was extremely polite. I love Australia, where I claim to be from...and own a very big house, but the word Sheila is, well put it this way..walk into ya local mate and try it!!!


Max

I just want to point out to BA (without speculating on why BA is here) something about the advice she/he gave @ LoveShack.

IMHO the WS crying and begging to come back is not really proof that the WS has totally ended the adultery and is going to put in the effort for recovery. As I pointed out to a recent poster who listed such displays of remorse as an example of them doing all they could for recovery (but the BS wasn't getting over it ASAP), it takes more than emotional displays to convince the BS that the WS is committed to recovery. IMHO it takes the WS taking responsibility for admitting why/how they allowed the adultery in the first place and why/how they are going to repair the damage and protect their BS/marriage in the future.

I have personal experience with my WH crying and begging to come home... 4 days later he was right back over at the OW's shack. So I wouldn't give much credit to such an emotional display by itself minus a plan.

I have not been following this dispute: whether or not BestAdvisor is a troll. There is a disclaimer here about us posters not being experts... It does raise suspicion though whenever somebody new comes here, never mentions their own experience, and is either ignorant of or ignores MB principles. My guess is BA might be a young person who is trying to cope with a teenage love triangle situation, or their parents' adultery or divorce? I would encourage BestAdvisor to read the MB principles posted here.

I bet BA is flattered by all the attention she's getting here!!

Can't justuss handle this?

Still waiting BA... and BTW... I didn't start this thread to "bash" you as you said on someone else's thread. I really want to know. Why wouldn't you want to share? If nothing else it might give you some credibility. It would certainly help everyone understand where you're coming from. Hmmmm?

For what it's worth, these type do thrive on attention but if we divert their efforts like turning lemons into lemonade or reverse babble, you will find that they eventually leave.

So instead of trying to find a 'reason' or even try to 'reason with one who can't...... better to concentrate on those who really need our support. By basically ignoring the troll (except for the occasional RB), this will deprive the troll from the attention they crave and need. Once that level goes low enough, they generally leave.

No need to fret or get angry. Trolls don't stay. Like WS' they have no stamina or integrity. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

JMHO,
L.

BA,

Lets have your story.

Just so anyone who reads this thread will know, Best Advisor recently attempted to capture one of our long time members (Orchid) cell phone number by quickly "quoting" it in a response to Orchid's thread with the pretense of asking Orchid "How are you doing today".

Orchid had placed her cell in her post for a couple mins specifically so Knewjie (another long time member) could contact Orchid. Then Orchid was going to swiftly delete it.

Best Advisor was watching and attempted to exploit the opportunity by using the quote feature thereby placing Orchid's cell number in a quote where Orchid could not delete it. But Best Advisor failed because Justuss stepped in and deleted the cell# on BA's quoted post.

Here's the thread: Click HERE

IMHO, this act had malicious intent.
Jo

Wow, how very classy of ***********Advisor! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for that info Jo! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

BA had no GOOD reason to do this. Despicable.

Isn't THIS enough evidence that BA intends to harm rather than help? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I'm changing this post to "Warning: Newbies Beware of Best Advisor". I am no longer interested in her/his/it's story. It would probably be a lie anyway.

Here are posts excerpts from the other thread in case Best Advisor tries to delete the evidence:


Best Advisor to Orchid (within the two horizontal lines below WAS Orchid's cell# before Justuss deleted it):



Then Orchid asked:


And here’s where Best Advisor uses a feable excuse in attempt to cover up her failed trickery:

Here's the deal, what Best Advisor fails to realize is this is a community, this isn't a sleazy-type playground chat room or fun circus board where one comes because they're bored and want to play games with people in pain.

This community is one where hundreds of us actually know one another in real life, and have supported one another over years using Harley's prinicples thru the worst times in our lives.

Jo

How are you doing today. I hope you're peaceful, "un-fred" and "non-angry."

And that is what is so cool about this site. Just since I've been here, I've watched people grow and then turn around and start helping others. I would love to meet some of the vets here in person someday just so I could tell them "thank you" in person for all they do here.

Thought this could use a bump for visability.