Found out that my WH has only known his OW for a little over a month, the A started almost immediatly after they met at work. I have already taken steps to out them at work.

Is it easier (I guess I'm asking for myself, not the WH) to end it as opposed to an A that has been going on for months or years?

According to my used to be WH he was done in 3 months time.
I've heard 2 months to 2 yrs for a natural death. I do know when he was done, he was done. No withdrawal, just relief.

This was my experience, can't speak for others.

That gives some comofort. But my WH is acting like he's 18 and 'in love' with her and just loves me as my kids mom.

Thanks for your post. I was trying to decide on a plan A timeframe, I was going for 3 months because I will start spring classes then and I've already screwed up my GPA for this semester because of the A and I feel that will put a perspective on my education and moving foward. Thanks again.

Has no contact been established? Otherwise, you have no plan A.

I'd also point out, don't try to rush things. I've come to the conclusion ours is a culture of divorce. I was surprised by how quickly friends and family advised getting a divorce. If you have children, you need to understand the long-term and devastating consequences for them. Read "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" to understand the impact of divorce on children.

Wrong. This is what Dr. Harley says:

"Plan A is for the betrayed spouse to negotiate with the wayward spouse to totally separate from the lover without angry outbursts, disrespect, and demands. These three Love Busters not only ruin any effort to reach a negotiated settlement, but they also make the betrayed spouse much less attractive to the wayward spouse. Instead of encouraging total separation from the lover, the anger, disrespect and demands of the betrayed spouse make the lover appear to be the only one who truly cares about the wayward spouse. They literally throw the wayward spouse into the arms of the lover."

"On the other hand, if the betrayed spouse approaches the wayward spouse with respect and thoughtfulness, the cruelty and self-indulgence of the affair is much easier for the wayward spouse to understand. And once the wayward spouse's mistake is acknowledged, it's much easier for him or her to take the first step toward recovery by agreeing to never see or talk to the lover again."

The "negotiation" of Plan A doesn't take place in one sitting. It's done over a period of time.

Mitzie, have you read up on this? Get familiar with the Plans so they will be most effective, otherwise you'll be spinning your wheels.