Hi

My husband meet a women about 2months ago--- He is living with her. His reasons for having this affair is I did not like his friends I treated him bad for over 15 years, I spent too much money. He is 45 yrs old. Everyone totally disagrees with him and have told him how wrong he is. He said to me that I am a good person, He loves me and always will he didnt mean to do this and he is confused. we have had arguments about 1 month ago real bad and both said bad things. I stopped talking with him for about 3 weeks until last friday when his friend had told him that I am having major health problems. than he came over to see how I was --- We talked for about20- 25 minutes, I asked him if we would ever get back together he said --- there is always hope. who knows. so than sunday he showed up again
we talked for about 5 minutes outside in her car. I said to him I just dont understand all this he said you are such a good person, and I told him all I want is you--- he said I know that. He said he had to go and kinda gave me a wink--- and beeped his horn good bye.. Is he going threw mid-life crisis I jusat dont know what road to go. I asked god for help. Need strong advice. my email is mellisa.matchin@yahoo.com if you want to talk private
mellisa

Sorry you find yourself here mmatchin. Your focus needs to be on ending the A. This usually starts with exposure and Plan A and proceeds from there. Talking to your H right now is not going to be very productive as he can't be trusted and is intent on justifying his behavior in any way he can. He will lie and manipulate you in any way he can. Basically consider him an alien for all practical purposes.

Have you read the infidelity sections of this site? Others will be along shortly I am sure.

Although it already sounds as if some people know about the adultery and are speaking up to oppose it, expose to everyone who is relevent. Do you know who the OW is? if so expose to people in her life. Did they meet at work? If so expose to their bosses and human resources department.

I just dont know if I should wait this out--- he keeps saying he is confused---- or should I just tell him look do you want to come home--- if so end the affair and lets work on us