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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13 |
Hi
I have posted a few issues here re- my marriage please read and can someone guide me. I am getting very confused by my husbands responses.
I was talking with my husband yesterday and I asked him if he wanted to come home--- he replied he does not know -- than I asked him if he wanted to be with this other women that he has been with a little over 2 months--- he replied
I dont know. than said to me he does not know what he wants. Why is he acting like this?
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,306
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Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,306 |
Its called cake-eating and fence sitting. You meet some of his needs, the OW meets other needs, so he is content with the status quo.
Have you been in plan A? (give me a link to your thread or bump it up, its better to do that than start a new post anyhow)
If you've been in Plan A for a while and he is still doing this then it might be time to start developing Plan B.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
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Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
MMatchin, please stay on one thread so we can follow your story. It's very hard to help if you keep starting new threads. In your first post you said that you husband slapped you. You DO know that this is NEVER acceptable and is considered physical abuse? Is this something that has happened before?
Do you have children?
Have you read any of the articles on this site? You need to do that so you can get a handle on things.
MB can help you but it's not a magic bullet. It takes time and your willingness to learn. But I have to tell ya, if there's been a history of physical abuse you're going to need more help than ways to get your husband back.
((Mmatchin))
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13 |
Hi tyk
Okay Plan A- It is very hard to talk with my husband his head is down alot and he can hardly look me in the face and he is very quiet. when I first strted questioning him on the OW he got very hyper and it ended up in a shouting match and bad words flew at each other and I got hit in the face. He has apoligized for that. that was the 1st time he ever hit me. its been a little over 2months and Ity seems that he cant give me an answer--- I am about ready to tell him looks its our marriage or her. Am I being to pushy-- or will I drive him away---- I dont think at this point I am going to go around him-- he is gonna have to come to me
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13 |
Hi
how do I keep on same thread? I am new and dont quite understand everything... I have no children been married 15 years. He has never hit me b4. he has been verebally abusive towards me--- call me bad names over the years. I feel like my self- esteem is low--- that no one would want me because he has told me that i am fat..... But than tells me I am such a good person.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Just keep responding to this thread like you are. If you don't respond for awhile sometimes your post will move down the page and even to the next page. Look for your post title, click on the last page and post in the box at the bottom of the page.
Your self-esteem IS low to put up with anyone verbally OR physically abusing you. Are you in counseling? You should get and read the book, "Co-Dependant No More". I bet you would recognize yourself in that book immediately. It might open your eyes to some things. Also get "Surviving an Affair" which you can order directly off this website.
Things You Need To Do: Start working on YOU. Order these books. Get into counseling. Read up and understand Plan A. Start implementing Plan A. Read the articles here. Keep posting!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13 |
I have seen a councelor and they have told me I am co-dependant. I think at this point I am going to stay away from him. ok I will read up on plan a -- ok thank you again for being so kind
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 13 |
Does any one think I should give my husband an ultimative
its me or her. its been 2months. Or should I just back off
and see what happends
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