To those of you who decided to stay separated from WH (because WH continued relationship with OW) and yet deep inside you're longing for a "husband"... for a "family"... how do you deal with that kind of feeling?

It seems like since WH left last year for good to live with OW and their 2 OC--- I can't get them out of my head. And I hate it because I don't want to think about them anymore. I went back to my church, went back to school, enrolled in a dance class--- but still thought of them pop in my head esp at the end of the day or at early morning... and I hate it... I really don;t care of they are happy or what... I just don't want to think of them...

I have my daughter with me- and we're trying to be happy and be the best even without WH. We have no communication with WH in any way. We lived half-the-world apart literally. I really want to forget them. What is the easiest way that you know?

Please help do you have any suggestions?

Thank you,
Someone

Someone-

Been in your shoes-because the D wasn't something that I wanted. I miss the man I married, but I realize that my XH isn't that person any more. Still, I miss having someone who cares about my day, and wants to hear my ideas and thoughts.

One of the things that helped me was the book "When He Leaves" by Kari West and Noelle Quinn. The authors are both women whose XH's were unfaithful. Each chapter takes you through steps and insights that can help you move forward.

I went through the book twice. Once right after my XH left us and then, just recently. Both times I got new insights.
I'm still moving forward too.

Hope this is somewhat helpful.

((someoneout_there))

I don't have any suggestions but I'm wondering the same. I know I still love my WH so is that the reason I would still think about him?? Mine hasn't left yet but it's coming.

any suggestions that have worked for you? thanks...

someone

johnstwin,

thank you for your reply. I will look for the book today. Me too, I also miss having someone who cares about my day, and wants to hear my ideas and thoughts.

thank you... and Hugs to you too...

someone

lost,

i'm sorry for your situation as well... please take good care of yourself...
yes, maybe i still love WH... but I had no choice but to let him go. I already accepted it... I just want to get rid of him/them in my thoughts.

take care,
someone

someone,

I'm sorry we're both in this sitch. I also have no choice about letting him go. I have accepted the fact that D is happening.

When WH was gone before, I thought about him constantly. Then he came home, only to decide D was the answer. I will also look for the book suggested to you. I need it. This time will be no better than last time.

Now is how!!!

Reflecting on the past is only an indication of present emptiness.

Fill today and the rest of your days with abundance

Let the past be the past.

************************

A Psalm of Life
What the Young Man Said to the Psalmist
.
Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream! -
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
.
Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
.
In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!
.
Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the deat Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!
.
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;
.
Footprints that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
learn to labor and to wait.
.
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Lost-
I hope I'll find this book in our local bookstore. If not, I'll order online. I hope this will help us in our situation. But, I will still pray that your marriage be saved.

Mr. Wondering- thank you for sharing your words of wisdom.

Take care,
Someone