FC,<BR>Your choice to stay is an indication that you have not lost your faith. It is also an indication that you love your H. Though the feeling is not there, you love him because God loved you first. Love is an action. The FEELING is gravy that God gave us to enjoy. I totally understand about not feeling. It is associsted with not having your needs met.<P>I'm not trying to be hard on you. I am merely stating what I have begun to feel in my fits of rage that my W does not get to experience. God has told me that my feelings are so much better after I do His will which has no feeling associated with it at the time the decision is made. Putting feelings first leads us to do all the wrong things.<P>I can say this because I have had the desire to get even, the desire to have my physical needs met, the desire to have my emotional needs met, etc. God has given me a way out everytine I have felt this way. He keeps reaffirming me with things that I read in my Bible and through sermons that I hear on the radio. Doing the loving thing also says that you love you. It is very hard when you feel that your spouse could care less if you were dead or not (talking about how I feel here in my situation.) She does do little things every now and then that lets me know that she still cares but can't see that God is blessing her with me.<P>I die a thousand deaths everyday now, not because I don't get the in love feeling experience. I have never been in love with my W. I knew God sent her into my life the night I met her. I have never felt that way towards her. I love her with the unconditional love that God has taught me. Here lately I have begun to hate her for a moment then transfer the hate to the actioons which is where the hate truly belongs: on the actions not the person.<P>I am so VERY GLAD that you are doing better. Continue to show God's love and you will one day have what you had with H before the mess began. MONDO HUG!!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>