So I have been seeing an IC counselor for some time now. The IC actually started out as our couples counselor. So she met my H and after 3 sessions with him had opinions about him.

I have maintained with her that I would like my H to come abck and work things out. She keeps telling me that at the time he came in he said he was done withthe M and didn't want it to work, he was just there to help me with my depression issues.

She keeps telling me that I have so much to offer and how could I want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me.

I tell her everything that happens with my H, and she is of the opinion load and clear, that he doesn't want the marriage to work. Where as I see rays of hope in some of the things he says and the way he treats me. As well as the contradicting WS babble that is talked about on this site.

She has helped me with so much already and she is an excellent therapist. But this thing with my H we do not agree on.

She says I need to let him go and move on.

I feel like therapy and what I 'think' I want are in contradiction.

Sometimes I feel like she is right and I am in denial, but sometimes I still have hope.

What do I do? Listen to her? I'm so confused.

Anyone ever run into this kind of thing?

What took you to counseling? Why do you want to stay in this relationship?

ZZ...

I would lose the "divorce counselor" and instead spend my money on sessions with Steve Harley who can help you develop a PLAN to SAVE your marriage...Sadly, most counselors are NOT pro marriage, but the Harleys are...Have you considered calling them?

Mrs. W

yep! I 110% agree with MrsW.

how can this "professional" sun up your husband in 3 sessions???? Wow... that's a pretty damn good therapist!!!

she's not helping you...not with your marriage anyway. This isn't some scene of Law & Order when the "shrink" can sum up a character in what appears to be 90 minutes.

i don't mean to sound harsh, but c'mon. is any therapist worth their weight THAT good at getting the whole picture in 3 seesions or less???

I posted in another thread about MY personal experience while 'shopping' for an MC... all 8 came back with "Do you have Insurance that covers my costs?" as a FIRST reply... to me... they are just pepople who want to get paid to listen to you vent...and do very little to help.

Take Mrs W.'s advise... THAT definately is worth her weight!! (Sorry Mrs W).

TOMK

ZZ right after I found out I started counseling. AFter the 1st session I didn't agree with alot of what the counselor had determined in that 1st 45 mins. She had me figured out. I was very hesitant about going back, but I did. After the 2nd session she made a little more sense. She still already had my problems diagnozed. Some of which were correct, some I am still not so sure of. My WH went to see her for an IC session. In that 45 mins. she had his problems figured out too.

We decided even tho she is a very nice lady, she wasn't what we needed. That's when I found MB, thankfully!

I agree with everyone else, you need a new counselor.

Our MC also went the same route. H had decided he wanted nothing to do with the marriage, so the therapist said that separation was imminent. I was like WTF??? Wasn't the therapist supposed to help us reconcile???

My therapist is excellent for IC, but for MC? Um... nope. I covered more ground and was able to make a dramatic turnaround after 2 sessions with Jennifer Harley. Well worth the money, IMO.

Thanks for the advice all!

I started to go to IC for my issues with depression, self esteem, mom issues, there were a few, I could keep going...

I actually was seeing 2 therapists at once. I decided that the IC that I had seen as a MC was actually helping me more with these other issues so I dropped the other.

I want to be a mentally healthy person for myself and she has helped me so much. Her opinions of the M have really only started popping up over the last few weeks.

I'm thinking about going back to the other therapists I was seeing to talk about M issues. It's unfortunate that the current IC is a 'divorce counselor' because otherwise she has been really great.