Thank you! I am trying....

Hope you will hang in there and keep posting.

Thanks ...I wrote down the books...my son is also suffering with this and I would love to help him. We are more depressed then manic...and have found things that seem to be helping....

SS,
Forgive me if I sound harsh yet again... but you have said this...4 times tongiht now? This comes across to me as your way of finding an out if you DECIDE not to DO it.

Don't try. Trying may lead to failing. you have nothing to fail with....well except yourself I guess.

Tell yourself right now that you WILL end the A. You WILL find meds that will help you. You WILL tell your H what's been going on.

...by the way... you haven't been TRYING to get help here. You ARE getting help! And you WILL continue to get it for as long as you need!!! ....think about that for a second. You've already DONE something!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Stop 'trying' and get doing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have broken it off several times but the OM ignores it and I give in....because he so meets my needs....I have told my H many of my needs but it is just not his persoality to meet them ...he discourages me so....and I don't want to live the rest of my life discouraged...but I hear and appreciate your counsel.

Thank You!

Read An Unquiet Mind first, it's her memoir...Here is a link to the website for the doctor that I mentioned in Atlanta~~~> Dr. John Carman, MD He is such a caring man and has dedicated his life to the treatment of Bipolar Disorder...Lots of good info on that site...

There is also an excellent novel written by a physician called Fly Me to the Moon...I can't think of the author's name right now...I'll go and look for the book and let you know...It's such an accurate depiction of Bipolar Disorder that doctors and counselors get CE credits for reading it...

Manic or depressed, that is no way to live...You are in charge of your own health care as hard as that is, but it's up to YOU to keep trying meds until you find one or a cocktail of many that work...

When will you tell your husband about the affair?

Mrs. W

Ok I will read the book and check out the Doctors website....I would rather divorce than tell him because he cannot meet my needs anyway. My couselor wanted us to get marriage couseling but didn't see much hope. She said I think you love him but he doesn't love you. He has a subtle diregard for women.If it weren't for my two wonderful sons I would love to disapper!

SS...Your illness depresses you...the fact that you are in ACTIVE REBELLION to God depresses you...You can't blame your depression on your husband, it is NOT his fault...You are going to run into that age old battle of wherever you go, there you are...This is about YOU...What are YOU going to do about it?

The author of the last book I mentioned is H.E. Logue...The book's full title is Fly Me to the Moon...Bipolar Journey Through Mania and Depression...Very interesting that you mention your "religious experience" of God telling you to leave your family...Two things about that 1. It's NOT true-God HATES divorce and adultery is breaking a commandment and 2. Did you realize that that type of "religious experience" is VERY common with your disorder? The H.E. Logue book has a similar scenario in it...

Mrs. W

You will run into a lot of counselors like that. I suggest you contact the Harley's. The counseling is a bit pricey but they can often do in one session what takes other counselors months.

If you could be in love with your husband and have him in love with you again, would you choose that?

You have to give him a chance to meet them SS...He has to know about the affair, EVEN if you choose to divorce him, he MUST know the truth about his life, he deserves that-It is SO CRUEL to keep him in the dark like that...Btw, you do realize that you have no Biblical right to divorce him, correct? Only he has that right, and he may choose that once he knows...He deserves to be able to make informed decisions about his life and you are depriving him of that right...Again SS, he is not your pet!

When will you tell him? I saw that you posted and then deleted that OMW found out last week...She has my greatest sympathy-I'm certain that she is devastated...You do understand that she will likely tell your husband, right? It would be better coming from you...Will you please tell him?

Mrs. W

I would choose that but I don't see that happening. He was 35 and I was 25 and I was the daughter of an alcoholic and he met my need of security....but 20 years later that is not enough and not even true. He has suspected the A but when I offered to quit he would rather me make money. Sorry I feel so petty...I don't think we ever were....It was making the best of the situation and it alost worked...I will contact Harley's

Thank You...I will truly consider all that you have said...You have all been very helpful.....Goood Night...

Good Night SS and God Bless...I hope you will continue to post...

Mrs. W

This is 'trying' (good for you!!) but... you need to DO.

Do...

Do...

Do NOT allow OM back into your life. If you are telling this guy that you are done, and he comes back. Do you REALLY believe it's for YOU?!?!?! He's not being there for you...he's feeding off your misery and giving himslef an ego trip about it. Point blank.

He's getting HIS ENs from you, NOT vise versa, though in your state of mind you may think otherwise.

OM is a preditor, you are easy prey for him. If you've toild him you're done, and he keeps coming back... it's because you are an easy target to make HIM feel better.

My point.... what do you two talk about when you are together? I'll bet you can't go a single day / night where your H isn't the topic of discussion. And that discussion goes on about how he doesn't do this or he doesn't do that...

What healthy relationship (remember the one you have with OM is a FANTASY!!) What HEALTHY relationship has topics such as "My ex didn't do this or that" "Or my S doesn't do this or that"????

Take away OM's fuel for his ego... I bet you see him disappear faster than you can blink.

SS, Some questions. Please answer honestly. Not what you feel is correct or proper.

Do you feel your H is PARTIALLY responsible for driving you to have an A?

Do you feel it would be better to D having never mentioned your A, than to admit your A which could result in D?

In your post quoted above, what are you overly optimistic about?

-JKT